Dreams
by sissouthernink1994
Summary: Definition of dream- a sequence of images, passing through a sleeping person's mind; a fond hope. What really happens when we dream? Full summary inside.
1. Intro

**Dreams Intro:** Definition of dream- a sequence of images, passing through a sleeping person's mind; a fond hope. Other descriptions: imagine, nightmare, hallucination, fantasy, vision, thought, premonition, apparition and wishful thinking. What happens when we dream? Do we always remember what we dream? Do we always want to? If we share those dreams, will they come true? Will they diminish if we don't?

**A/N:** This fic is multi-show x-over about dreams. It will feature characters from the following shows-

CSI: New York

CSI: Miami

Criminal Minds

NCIS

Brothers and Sisters

NCIS: Los Angeles

CSI

Some of the dreams will present spoilers for some of the other stories I'm working on. So if you follow one of those, happy blessings that you get a peek. 8)

**Disclaimer:** I don't own any of the characters that will eventually make an appearance in this work of fiction.

**Warning**: T for now may change with each chapter.


	2. Vision: Derek

**Warning: This is implied slash relationship m/m. In my world, SSA Derek Morgan and CSI Dr. Sheldon Hawkes are in a relationship. A glimpse of the future for Sheldon and Derek. **

**Disclaimer: **See intro

Chapter 1: Vision- Derek Morgan

FBI SSA Agent Derek J. Morgan always loved going to the zoo as a child. The city of Chicago had one of the most famous zoos in the country and the world. His parents took him as a child and now he was returning the favor. A cute little four-year-old girl dressed in purple tugged his right hand.

"Daddy, do we _have_ to go in the reptile house?" Another equally cute little girl dressed in yellow tugged his left hand.

"Yeah, daddy do we _have_ to?" Bianca and Fiona MarKes, the daughters of Sheldon and Derek, asked these questions.

"No, princesses we don't have to. We can go and look at something else."

"Oh you're just being a fraidy cat!" Mocked the little boy walking behind them, holding Sheldon's left hand.

"Am not!" Bianca yelled back.

"Are too." Said the little boy holding Sheldon's right hand.

"We're not fraidy cats." Fiona spat back, showing angry eyes.

"Hey, hey. Stop that right now." Derek stopped walking and turned to his and Sheldon's sons. "You know we don't tease each other. It's not fair for you to make fun of your sisters because they don't want to go in the reptile house." He looked sternly at Benjamin and Douglas. "They didn't tease you when you didn't want to go in and see the birds, did they?"

"No sir." They replied.

"Ok, what do we say?" They apologized to their sisters. "Now if you want to, you can go in with Papa, and we'll wait out here for you to come out."

"Can we go Papa?" Ben asked.

"I don't know. _Can _you?" Sheldon asked. They thought for a second about their question.

"Oh, may we go Papa?" He nodded that Doug had corrected his phrase.

"Yes, you may. Let's go and get out. I'm not that fond of snakes either." They turned and walked into the reptile house.

"Well, ladies it's just us." Derek was looking for a bench or table for them to sit and wait.

"Daddy, I have to use it." Fiona said.

"Me too." Derek looked around for the restrooms sign.

"Over here." He directed them over to his right. "Excuse me; are any of these restrooms Family Restrooms?" He asked a zoo employee.

"Yes sir, the one with Koala on the door."

"Thanks." He started to walk over with them.

"Uh, sir I'm not sure if you can go in with them." The employee sounded unsure, thinking that maybe Derek was a pedophile. Derek thought he would have gotten used to those looks and those questions by now. Today wasn't one of those days. It was times like these that him feel like Gay Couples and their families hadn't made much progress in the world of straight and normal.

"It's a family restroom. I want to make sure my daughters are safe so I'm going in."

"It's ok Daddy, we're big girls. We can go by ourselves." Bianca stated.

"Yes, at home with us, at school and with Mommy and your grandmothers. But this is a public place and I know not so nice people hang out here."

"Like the bad guys you catch?"

"Yeah, baby like those bad guys."

"We can try this one time right?" Fiona asked. His daughters had him wrapped around their fingers from the minute they arrived. He seriously thought about it. He couldn't keep them at age four forever. He sighed.

"Ok, we'll try this one time. Only in the family restroom. You remember our code word?"

"Yes sir." He nodded and let them go into the restroom. He kind of glared at the employee as he waited for his little princesses. _Maybe she doesn't know the __**reason**__ behind the family restroom. It's for more than just women with babies_, he thought_._ He made a mental note of her name and decided to e-mail a concern/complaint to the zoo management when he got back to his mom's house. Derek listened intently for the word "dictionary". That was the girls' code word if they felt uncomfortable in a situation. They had only used it once and it was rightly used.

They were on a church outing. The Youth Department had gone to the Children's Museum of Memphis and they were having a picnic lunch outside. They had seen a strange woman hanging around them at the park. The weather was very spring like and she was dressed in a full-length fur coat and fur-lined boots as if it were a snowy January day in Chicago. She had a basket full of stuffed animals and toy cars. She was approaching the swings, trying to give away the toys in exchange for a child to help her cheer up a friend who was supposed to be sick and not able to walk. She pointed to a van parked at the side of the park. Someone in the front seat waved anytime a child looked in that direction. Bianca felt scared and yelled "dictionary" as loud as she could. Derek and Sheldon both heard it and looked in the direction of the swings.

The adults hearing the commotion only looked at the woman in the fur coat. Their untrained eyes couldn't see the two male abductors, closely walking in the area behind the swings that they saw. Deacon Daye, a Memphis Police Officer and Deacon Sharp, the church's security director saw them too. Daye was already at the van calling for back up. Each of the officers yelled their credentials and pulled their guns on the perps. The youth directors moved the children away from the swings and soon sirens from the police cars were heard and approaching the park.

As men of the law, Derek and Sheldon never went anywhere without their credentials and guns. They were licensed to carry; they had their cards saying so and their FBI Badges. Even if they were just going to church or the grocery store. Deacons Daye and Sharp were the same way. When church members saw that one or more of these men were chaperoning a youth trip, or any trip for that matter, they felt safer.

Just before Bianca and Fiona came out of the restroom, Sheldon and the boys found them.

"Out so soon?" Derek asked.

"Yeah, our boys are not as brave as they thought they were. Hey, where are the girls?" Sheldon asked.

"In the restroom." Derek said, trying not to take his attention from the door.

"Then why are you out here? It's a Family Restroom right?"

"Yes, but the employee said I couldn't go in." Sheldon had a confused look on his face. "I know, I know. The girls should be out any minute." Sheldon shook his head.

"Do either of you need to go while we're here?" He asked Ben and Doug.

"I do Papa."Ben said.

"Do we have to go in there?" Doug asked.

"No, we only have to use Family Restrooms when Daddy or I are out with your sisters. They can't go in the men's room and we can't go in the ladies room, ok?" The boys nodded and Sheldon moved them towards the men's room. "Back in a minute." Bianca and Fiona came out of the restrooms with their shirts a little wet.

"What happened Fi?"

"We couldn't quite reach the sink Daddy." She replied.

"That's ok baby. It'll dry. Let's wait over here for them out of the way so other people can get to the restrooms, ok?" They moved to wait for the rest of their family. While waiting Derek's stepfather Maxwell and his mom came over to them.

"There you are. We got lost. Where are Sheldon and the boys?" She asked.

"In the restroom."

"Grandma did you know that Daddy couldn't go in the Family Restroom with us? He goes with us all the time at home."

"No, I didn't sweetie. Why not?"

"The lady said he couldn't." Max looked around to find an employee.

"Which employee Derek?" He pointed her out.

Max walked up to her and asked if she could use the radio to ask the closest manager on duty to meet him near the reptile house. She did so and when the manager arrived, he looked pleasantly surprised and excitedly shook Max's hand. What the employee didn't know was that Max was Chicago's Parks and Recreation Director. He asked the manager about the signage for the Family Restroom, if the employees knew the proper procedures and whom the restrooms were actually for. Max noticed the sign that said "Same Sex Couples with Children Welcome" was missing. The manager got on the radio, called someone in the office, and confirmed they had the signs. Max told him to get the signs up as quickly as possible. He left to get the job done.

Sheldon and the boys came out and by that time Sarah, her husband and children had caught up with them. Now that everyone had seen the entire zoo, they set off to find place to picnic. The kids just really wanted to play. Soon everyone was full and the kids were getting tired. As they were leaving the zoo, Max checked Family Restrooms along the way to make sure the proper signs had been posted and most were. He would send an e-mail for someone to come out and inspect the zoo the upcoming week to make sure the zoo was in full compliance.

Sarah and her family left and Derek and Sheldon drove back to his mother's house. He sold a couple of his properties in Quantico before he moved to New York with Sheldon for six months. Luckily, he was able to strike a deal with the people who were already renting the houses. And when they moved back to Quantico, he had a year to sell the rest before they moved to Memphis. With the extra money he had, he helped his mother and stepfather buy a bigger house. He knew that since he and Sheldon were going to get married, they definitely wanted a family- as many kids as they could handle. They didn't know it was going to be four at the same time. A big family would definitely need a big place to stay when they came to visit.

His mother had never thought about owning an eight bedroom house before, never thought it was possible. But Derek knew the sacrifices his mom made for him and his sisters after their dad died. And if Max could provide her with the day-to-day things and love, he was more than happy to buy a house for her and him. He accepted him, Desi, Sarah and Sheldon as if they were his own children and he made their mother happy.

Derek and Sheldon put the children down for nap in the playroom they made up. When she married Max, the number of grandchildren went from Sarah's two to 12. Derek and Sheldon had four, Max's daughters Jess and Kelly had two each and his sons Paul and Allen one each. Everyone seemed in need of a nap.

Derek had a greater appreciation for his husband. On the days that his BAU team was out in the field, Sheldon often had all four kids to deal with, especially if it was Pen's turn to travel with the team. Bathing them, making lunches, doing laundry, getting them ready for school, shopping, keeping order. Sheldon would work half days on those days. He was in charge of the new FBI Lab in Memphis, he could do that. Derek was so tired after just dealing with the two girls. He made a mental note to talk with Sheldon and Pen about a part-time babysitter for those rare occasions.

The pitter-patter, no more like running of little feet woke Derek up from his nap, but he didn't get up until bodies starting attacking them in the bed.

"Daddy, Papa, wake up! Dinner time!" Was all he what he heard in various pitches. "Come on Daddy." Ben was trying to get him to sit up by pulling his arm.

"Ok, Ben, I'm up, I'm up."

"Come on Papa it's spastetti and meatballs!" Fiona exclaimed, with her speech impediment. Sheldon rubbed his eyes and leaned on his arm, looking at them.

"Ok, you guys wash up and we'll be down in a minute."Sheldon said and the little feet bounded down the stairs. Derek looked at his husband and kissed him.

"We did decide four was good, right?"

"Yes."

"Ok, just checking."

Derek liked hearing the name Daddy. He never thought he would hear it, never thought wanted to hear it until Micah and Sheldon. Micah made him want to be a dad and a good one. A dad who wanted to protect someone, wanted to help someone grow and learn. Sheldon saw the potential for him to be a great parent. And between the two of them, they were.

* * *

Derek woke up as if someone had jumped on his bed and pulled his arm. He sat straight up only to find Reid sitting at the table of the hotel room, reading. He rubbed his eyes, not believing the dream he just had.

"Morning." Reid said.

"Morning." He blinked his eyes. "Let me ask you something. You ever had a dream about Lilli or Daniel before you and Simon even thought about kids?"

"Not really. I dreamed that we would have them, because we wanted them. But not specifically them. Why?"

"I just had a dream that Sheldon and I were married. We were visiting my mom and my stepfather. Which is weird by itself because she's not dating anyone at the moment. And we were taking our **four **kids to the zoo. I could clearly see how they looked and heard them speak. I even know their names. We each had a backpack with changes of clothes, medicine and snacks. Is that wishful thinking or a premonition?"

"You got me there. You know their names?"

"Yea, Benjamin, Douglas, Bianca and Fiona. Weird, huh?"

"Most certainly. Wonder if Sheldon had a similar dream? Garcia or Rossi might be a better person to ask about dream interpretation, being of gypsy spirits and so forth."

"Yeah, I just might have to do that."


	3. Reoccurring Nightmare: G

**Warning: This is implied slash m/m. In my world, Special Agent G Callen and Technical Analyst Agent Eric Beal are in a relationship, married for this fic. This chapter contains severe language, non-con sex (rape). If you don't like, don't read. You will not offend.**

**Disclaimer: **See intro

**Rating**: M for language, rape situation.

**A/N: **French terms are in _italics_ and translation in parenthesis. I tore my bedroom and my office up looking for my French-English dictionary I used in high school. I wish I could have found my electronic translator. At any rate I haven't spoken or written French since I graduated high school in 1994. If you speak French and it doesn't look right, please send me the correct info and I will change it. I did the best I could remember. 8)

Chapter 2: Reoccurring Nightmare- G Callen

Former Navy SEAL Sam Hanna surveyed the area around the building.

"How does it look Sam?" Kensi asked.

"Looks like we need to hurry up and get in there." Eric's voice came through their communication buds.

"Guys, something just started blocking the heat sensors. I can't see where they are. I'm trying to override it but until I do, be careful."

"Will do Eric." G replied.

"Why do I get the feeling that he's only talking to you when he says that?"Sam asked.

"Jealous much, Sam?" G asked, thinking about how they lost Dom. "You know he means everybody."

"Sure." They approached the open door and quietly entered. They listened carefully to see if they could hear the killers in the building. If they were still there, they were extremely quiet. The trio carefully cleared each room, watching for the killers and each other's back. They finally approached the room where they expected to find the person they were trying to save. She was sitting in a chair with her hands and feet tied together. She was blindfolded and her mouth taped.

"Cynthia Glover?" Kensi asked. The woman nodded. "We're with NCIS. We're here to help you." Kensi carefully approached her and removed the blindfold and tape.

"Oh thank God, you're here."Her voice was trembling. "I thought they were going to shoot me."

"Did you know these men?"

"No, never seen them before. Is my brother safe?"

"Yes." Sam said. "He's in protective custody right now."

"Good." She began rubbing her wrists, trying to get the blood flowing in them again. "Which one of you is Callen?"

"That's me." G said turning to face her.

"They said to give you a message. 'If you don't know where you came from, how will you know where you're going? If you don't know who you are, how do you know who you can become?' What does that mean?" The agents gave each other a "not again" look.

"They are making it seem like they have information about my past."

"Did they leave any other information?" Kensi asked.

"No, just that."

"If they're serious, they'll contact me. I'm not going on a wild goose chase again until I'm sure." G said.

The EMTs arrived and took Cynthia to the hospital and the trio drove back to NCIS. The trail of the killers had grown cold. They were officially underground. The team couldn't do anything until they made a move. Therefore, Hetty sent them all home.

* * *

Eric and G went home to cook dinner together. G was very proud of himself, he was finally stable. He was happy being in one place. As long as that place was with Eric. He had a home, not just a roof over his head. He had a family; Eric's family accepted him and he talked with them as much as Eric. He had a feeling of belonging. Eric was teaching him to cook; he was learning to be domestic- cleaning the house and his clothes. He didn't even mind taking care of the yard. Life was good for him.

Dinner was pasta and marinara sauce. Eric was chopping items for the salad and G was stirring the sauce. The breadsticks would be done in a few minutes. The couple was able to have dinner most nights together in the dining room of their condo. It was much better than the two of them living in Eric's apartment. Eric came up behind G and put his arms around his husband's waist.

"I know why you say it."

"Say what?" G asked.

"When I say come home to me, you say 'I'll to the best I can to be careful'. It took me a while to accept that. But after Dom died, I understood it better. Our line of work is dangerous. Sometimes I wonder if that is why I chose to work with the computers. I'd be so scared to do some of the things you, Sam and Kensi do."

"I'm scared too sometimes. We only know so much about our situations and even that is suspect at times." The timer on the oven went off and Eric grabbed a potholder to remove the breadsticks from the oven. He set them on the counter to cool.

"So, you think Sam was really jealous?" G chuckled.

"Of course he was. But I know you meant for everyone to be careful." They set the table and ate dinner.

After washing the dishes, Eric suggested that they take a walk on the beach near their condo. It was a nice night, not chilly yet and the sun was about an hour from setting. G grabbed Eric's hand as they left their front porch. He loved it when they could walk together and hold hands. He was so used to being undercover and hiding so much about himself. It was great that he could be who he wanted and needed to be with Eric.

As they walked, they could see other couples taking advantage of the nice weather just as they were. They walked over to a bench and sat down, watching the surfers and children playing in the water.

"Wonder how the surf will be this weekend?" Eric mused.

"I thought it was supposed to rain."

"If it doesn't and we don't have to work, wanna surf Saturday morning? George and Sally said they miss us. I'll make us all a big breakfast when we come back."

"As long as you don't keep me up all night Friday. I don't usually have the energy I want when you do."

"Awww, but you love it when I do." He leaned closer to kiss him.

"I must confess, I do." Behind them, G could hear Otis, the local ice cream man. He was ringing his bell announcing that he was at the boardwalk. "There's Otis, right on time. My treat?" He asked.

"Sure. My usual."

"Be right back." G got up to head to the truck. Eric sat there a second and decided he didn't want his usual cherry bomb.

"Hey G," he turned to look for him "I changed my…mind." He didn't see his husband right away. And he should have, the boardwalk was full of kids. G should have stood out like a sore thumb. "G?" Eric got up from the bench to head towards the truck, calling his husband's name. There was no response. He approached the truck and looked all around it just incase he was waiting for all of the kids to place their orders first. There was no sign of G Callen.

Panic set in and Eric pulled out his phone to call G. He heard it ring, following the sound, only to find it on the ground. He picked it up and called G's name again. There was no answer. He knew the secret code and called in an Agent Needs Assistant from G's phone. It would go straight to Hetty's phone. As soon as he did, he felt a gun to his back and a gravelly voice telling him to move. As he did, he was able to send an Agent Needs Assistant from his own phone. The gunman pushed him towards a van and pushed him in. That was the last thing he remembered.

* * *

G woke up in a cold, concrete room. His whole body ached from how he was thrown on the floor. He immediately reached for his cell phone and discovered that it was gone. There was a light on the room; he could be grateful for at least that. He sat up, trying to get his bearings. There was very little furniture, one window up near the ceiling. To his left there was a flight of stairs. He deducted that he was in a basement. But where? And where was Eric? Just behind him, he heard a cough and a groan.

"Eric?" He turned to his left and ran to his husband. "Are you ok?" Eric nodded as G kissed the lump on his forehead.

"My head hurts, but I think I'm ok. What about you?"

"A little achy but I'll live."

"Any idea where we are?"

"Some kind of basement. Maybe we can see something through the window." G grabbed the chair and stood on his toes to look outside the window.

"Anything?"

"Nothing recognizable." He stepped down. "I wish I had my phone but I guess who ever took us has it."

"Mine too. But I was able to send Agent Needs Assistant from both of our phones."

"Good. So when we're not at headquarters who gets them?"

"I sent them to Hetty and Director Vance's phones."

"Vance? Start at the top huh?"

"Well, I figured if our team is one of his best, and two key parts are missing he should be one of the first to know."

"Is there anybody at headquarters with your search skills?"

"Not really. Kensi is getting better but she has a long way to go with the programming skills. Their best bet is Abby. She can do a lot from D.C."G reached out and took Eric's hand.

"At least this time you don't have to worry about me since we're together."

"True." As they stood closer to each other, the door opened at the top of the stairs. Heavy footsteps made their way down. Before them stood several men dressed in black and with what looked like military boots on their feet. G stood in front of his husband as what looked like the ringleader stepped closer. His hair was black, long and appeared greasy. He was unshaven and had an evil look in his eyes.

He walked a circle around them, grinning and grunting as he walked. G matched him look for look, ready to protect himself and his husband. The man reached out to touch Eric's face and G blocked him. The man made an "oooo" sound like he was supposed to be scared and laughed as the others laughed with him.

"_Comment mignon_ (how sweet). He wants to protect his lover." The Frenchman laughed again and blew a kiss at Eric. G could feel Eric grab the back of his shirt.

"Who are you and what do you want with us?"G asked.

"Oh, such anger and fear. We must do something about that, _oui_?"

"What do you want?" G asked again, determined to get an answer.

"_Maintenant, maintenant, _(now, now) _Monsieur_ (Mister) Cal-len." He replied. "_Telle impatience _(such impatience)." He ran his finger down the side of G's cheek and then down Eric's followed by a low growl of sexual nature. "Hmmm, so sexy." The couple backed away in disgust.

"How do you know my name?"

"I know you both. _Mon secret est mon secret_ (my secret is my secret)." He said smiling. "We have need of you. Your armed forces have our leader in custody and we need him released."

"Then you've been given the wrong information. You've got the wrong people." Eric said, finally finding his voice. "We don't have that kind of clearance."

"Ah, he does speak."The Frenchman said. "_Peut-etre_ (perhaps) _Monsieur_ Beal, you don't have it exactly, but you can get the job done. I know you can."

"And how do you know this?"

"You think I would know _vouz noms_ (your names) and not know what it is you do?"The Frenchman stood steadfast in front of them, staring them down. "You will do this for us."

"And if we refuse?"G asked.

"Ah_ mais_ (but) _Monsieur_ Cal-len, you can not. I'll give you two _raisons_ (reasons) why," He motioned to one of the other guys to bring him something. "this_ enveloppe_ and your husband." Eric's grip on G's shirt became tighter. The envelope had G Callen written neatly on the front. "In this _enveloppe_ is the answer to every question you have ever had about your life." G's heart skipped with excitement to be so close to the answers he's always wanted. But his mind overruled with caution. "You love your husband, _oui_?"

G swallowed and answer without hesitation, "Yes."

"_Bon_ (good). We shall soon see how much he loves you." G narrowed his eyes in question. The Frenchman turned to Eric and asked him the same question. "_Monsieur_ Beal, do you love your husband?"

"Yes."

"Would you do anything for him?" Eric paused, but answered quickly.

"Yes, I'd do anything so he could find out about his past."The Frenchman smiled.

"_Juste je pensee_ (just as I thought). You release our leader; he gets to know his past."

"Ok." Eric agreed without hesitation. G pushed him to a corner where they could talk privately, well as privately as they could.

"Eric, you can't do this." He harshly whispered.

"Baby, it's your past. Everything will be ok. When I enter the system, I can probably overcome all the firewalls. The sooner we release him the sooner we can get home and you can read about your family."

"I love you but this is why you're the computer geek. Things like this are **never** this easy." G whispered. "No real true negotiation or exchange is ever this easy. There's something else."

"If there were don't you think he would tell us?"

"No!" He emphasized, as quietly as he could. "That's the whole point. The element of surprise is what he's after." Eric looked over at the man as he taunted him with the envelope.

"But it's your past. You can find out who you are, find out about your family."

"Eric, I know who I am. The team is my family, your family is my family, **you** are my family. There will be other opportunities. If he found it, we still can. Maybe someone else has it too."

"But we've been searching for so long and have come up empty every time." G hung his head and sighed. "Baby, how hard can it be? It might not even take that long. Let me do this for you. I love you and I want you to know what's in that envelope."

"Suppose there's nothing? Suppose it's…it's a joke? What then?"

"It's a risk I'm willing to take, for you." Eric put his hands on his husband's face and kissed his lips. "I trust you with my life all the time. This time, will you trust me with yours?" G searched Eric's eyes then nodded silently because the worried lump in his throat wouldn't let him speak. Hand in hand, they turned to face the Frenchman.

"I release your leader; you'll give him the envelope and let us go?"

"_Oui_, that is the deal." Eric nodded in reassurance to G.

"Ok then. Show me the computer."

The Frenchman pointed to the stairs. The thugs all parted and one led them up the stairs to a room that looked like the comm room at their headquarters. The couple looked around nervously, making mental notes about the room. The Frenchman offered Eric the seat in front of the computer and G started to walk over to stand behind him when two of the thugs held him back by his arms.

"Hey, what's going on? I just want to stand behind him."

"I don't want you to distract him."

"I'm ok G." Eric said.

The thugs sat G down in a chair. He could still see Eric, but he was far enough away from the door that he couldn't make a run for it even if he wanted to. It would mean leaving Eric behind. There was no way he was going to do that. Eric began typing on the computer and got into the first firewall. It was encrypted. He started the encryption, sat back in the chair and crossed his arms to wait.

"Why did you stop?"

"The first firewall is encrypted. I have to wait for the computer to decode it. It could take a while."

"A while?"

"Yeah, anywhere between 15 minutes and a few hours." The Frenchman nodded.

"Good thing I thought of something for you to do in your down time." G and Eric both sat up.

"I'm good waiting here. In the chair."

"But Jean-Luc is bored." One of the thugs came over, turned the chair around and stood in front of Eric. "Why don't you show Jean-Luc what your favorite way to please your husband is?" Eric's eyes widened with shock.

"Wh..what?"

"I knew there was something. Leave Eric alone; let me do it while he works. Use me instead. I'm used to this, he's not. " G said.

"Ah, but while he is waiting for it to finish, he is not working." Jean-Luc began running his hand over the front of this trousers, showing Eric what he wanted him to do whether it was Eric's favorite thing to do or not. He unzipped his pants and pulled out his semi-erect penis that was waiting for Eric's pouty lips. Eric glanced at the computer screen to see that it had only decoded 10% of the code.

"Suck." Jean-Luc said, his accent incredibly thick. G could tell by the way he said the word that he didn't know much English. Eric looked at the Frenchman.

"You didn't say anything about this."

"But you did say that you would do anything for him, _oui_?"He pointed at G. G was shaking his head, indicating for Eric not to do it. But before Eric could refuse again, Jean-Luc grabbed Eric's chin, opening his mouth and placing himself inside of it.

"Damn it! NO!" G tried to get up but the two thugs each hit him in the stomach, making him sit back down. Jean-Luc began thrusting his pelvis more and more towards Eric's face as Eric reluctantly performed oral sex on him. The bitter taste of his semen soon hit Eric's tongue and before he could turn his head to spit, Jean-Luc made him swallow. Eric gagged and choked then tried to make himself vomit but Jean-Luc stopped him.

"No! Swallow!" Eric desperately tried to cough everything back up, but it didn't work.

"Ah, the encryption is done." The Frenchman said. He turned the chair and Eric back towards the computer. Humiliated and scared, Eric began the next step. He made it though two other firewalls before he hit another encryption. The thugs laughed. The two holding G threatened bodily harm if he tried to get up. Eric was his husband; he was going to try. G received a blow to each jaw for his efforts.

"G, calm down. It'll be over soon." Eric said, trying to sound hopefully.

"I don't want you to do this. You can't. You don't do this stuff."

"He does not have a choice."The Frenchman stated as he motioned for another man to take advantage of the down time. "Gerard likes to be sucked hard, _Monsieur_ Beal." Gerard laughed as he unzipped his pants. Eric had just a second to take deep breath before Gerard stuffed himself into his mouth. He grabbed the back of Eric's head as he thrust more and more. "He will enjoy it more when you relax." The Frenchman teased. He said something that G couldn't translate and the others laughed. The computer indicated that it was done but Gerard wouldn't let Eric go. He also made Eric swallow and then lick him clean, laughing the whole time.

Eric turned back to the computer and tried his best to get to the information as quickly as possible. He was beginning to feel sick to his stomach. He had swallowed some of G's semen before but it had never made his stomach feel like this. He hit another encryption wall but it decoded before he had to do anything else. Without the other computers he was used to, there was no way for him to tell how close he was to being done. As he typed, he could feel the hands of other men, running through his hair, saying things in French that he couldn't translate. If he tried to lean forward to get away from them, they would just pull him back. The group cheered with the next encryption wall came up. They pawed at him, wondering who would get a turn.

The Frenchman ordered them back and for Eric to stand. Eric stood nervously; his knees were beginning to knock. The Frenchman walked around him, touching him and grabbing his behind.

"So far so good, _Monsieur_ Beal." He growled again at the firm yet soft feel of Eric's but. "Tell me, what do you love for your husband to do to you?" He asked with the most evil grin in his face. Eric didn't want to tell for fear of what would happen. His silence angered their captor. "There must be something. Anything?" They both looked at G, who face was beginning to swell. He nodded to the thugs and they each struck him in the face again.

"No!" Eric screamed and he was stopped by The Frenchman as he tried to help G.

"You stand here." Eric stood still blinking back tears. "_Maintenant, dis moi _(Now tell me)."

Eric could no longer hold back his tears because he knew the moment he said it, that it would be done to him.

"I…I…love for him to be inside me." He whispered through his tears.

"_Quoi_? (What?) Louder. I did not hear you."Eric took a deeper breath as his tears became unstoppable. G could feel his fear. He knew what was going to happen as soon as Eric repeated it. G did something he didn't usually do; he began to pray.

"I love for my husband to be inside me."

"Ah, that's what I thought you said." And before he could do anything, the computer beeped. G wondered if his prayer that been answered that quickly. Eric sat back down, trying to type through his tears. It seemed as if everything Eric typed was the magic word. He found the list and changed the information for Lucian DuPont to be set free. Confirmation came just as quickly as he typed it in.

Eric was proud of himself, he had done what was required and now they were going to be let go. He made the mistake to turning to The Frenchman and smiling.

"You know what is coming next, _oui_?"

"Yes you're going to give G the envelope and let us go."

"_Oui_, after we get confirmation."

"But it's on the screen. Right here." Eric said as he pointed to it. "He's released. He'll probably be out in three hours or so."

"We will wait for the phone call." He indicated to the cell phone sitting on the desk. "Until then, stand up." Eric resisted and the others thugs grabbed him from the chair. G sprang from his chair to pull Eric away and was thrown back into it. It slammed against the wall and knocked the wind out of him. The Frenchman said something G couldn't translate again and the two thugs began to tape him to the chair by his legs, arms, around his chest and a piece of tape over his mouth. It didn't stop him from trying to "walk" the chair across the floor to Eric.

"You have done well _Monsieur_ Beal. And now, we will celebrate. Strip for me." Eric was horrified. "Pierre, Jacques, _aidez il_ (help him)." The two thugs helped undress Eric and immediately began touching him all over with their nasty, perverted hands. The Frenchman slapped one of his but cheeks.

"I bet you like that, _oui_?" he did he again, harder and Eric yelled. "Hmmm…yes. Yell like a good boy." He yanked down Eric's boxers and he slapped both cheeks. The tears flowed down G's face, as he was helpless in saving his husband. Eric was pushed against the table and his hands taped above his head. Their captors laughed and grunted, The Frenchman grunting the loudest. "Be a good boy and open wide for me."He kicked Eric's legs open and spread them. Eric's backside was exposed for all the French thugs to see. G couldn't stand how they were humiliating him and putting his life in danger. As soon as they were spread to his liking, he shoved his hard erection inside causing Eric to scream in pain. There was no foreplay, no loving preparation, no lubricant, no condoms.

G's eyes widened with shock and disbelief. His protesting cries fell on deaf ears. He screamed behind the tape, he voice getting lost in the revelry. And after a few menacing thrusts, someone else took a turn. And a few minutes later, someone else. And so on and so on. He tried to blink back tears to keep an eye on his husband but they clouded his vision. They beat and slapped Eric. They constantly slammed his body into the metal table. The bruises were red, black and blue and covered the other bruises. His skin was red and soon blood was running down his legs. The thugs didn't even care that they were covered in blood. Eric's blood. With every blow to Eric's body, another piece of G's heart shattered.

Eric fell to the floor from fear and exhaustion. The thugs made him stand up. He was crying. Every sob seemed to be followed by a body blow, almost as if they were trying to make him to stop crying. By this time, there were about 14 men in the room, tossing Eric around like a hot potato. They each had several turns in raping him and forcing him to perform oral sex. G could see Eric was giving up. G could feel that his voice was gone but he had to make sure Eric was safe. The Frenchman nodded to the thugs and they picked up Eric and carried him into another room. G tried with all of his might to "walk" his chair after him, but the two thugs torturing him didn't let it happen. The last thing G remembered was his chair falling over and his husband's limp and tired body being dragged out of the room.

* * *

G Callen sat the foot of the bed, trying to keep himself from trembling and shaking too much. This dream- no nightmare was too much for him. But it wasn't something he just dreamed; he was there and so was Eric. It really happened. Soon he felt two loving hands beginning to make comforting circles on his back. He jumped a little.

"Are my hands cold?" Eric asked.

"No. I didn't realize you were awake. Did I wake you?"

"Not really. I just felt a coolness next to me." Eric swung his legs over the foot of the bed and sat next to his husband, placing an arm around his waist. "Same nightmare?" G nodded.

"I can't get it out of my head. How'd you do it?"

"It took some time and my therapist is a great help. I have an appointment tomorrow morning. You should come with me. I can call Hetty and let her know we'll both be late."

"You don't have to go with me. I know where the office is."

"Baby it's been six months and you haven't been yet. The therapist will help. I only have it occasionally now. And I am starting to accept French things into my life again."

"I just…"

"I know. But she will help. Her specialty is rape victims and their significant others. Dr. Andrews says that the significant others often have more of a problem getting over the rape than the victims. And some couples don't make it."

"We'll make it. We have vows and love between us."

"And we earned the right to get the envelope. Now you need to earn the right to look at it."

"You've seen the information?" Eric nodded.

"Last week, I told Hetty I felt that I could look at some of it. Nate was there to make sure I was ok."

"Then you can tell me what's in there."

"I could. But I want you to see if for yourself. You have more questions than I do and I think they will be answered as you read it."G hung his head and sighed.

"I don't want to relive that horrible day."

"I know you don't, but you relive it every time you have the nightmare." Eric placed his chin on G's shoulder. "Maybe you need some incentive, besides getting the nightmare to go away."

"Incentive? Like what?"

"I'll tell you this; your parents are alive and still married." G turned to look at Eric. "And you have siblings and nieces and nephews. And one set of grandparents."

"What? My parents are still together?" G was blinking back tears. "And I have siblings."

"I've even heard your parent's voices."

"You called them?"

"No, I listened while Nate and Hetty called. She told them the basic situation and that we were in therapy, hoping to meet them soon. They're anxious to meet both of us, but they want to make sure we're ready to. They want us to take our time. So Hetty said she would keep in touch with them until we could contact them ourselves." Tears fell from G's eyes.

"You risked your life for me. HIV and STD testing for the rest of your life. We can't even make love the way we want to for fear of HIV. Even if I stop having the nightmare, the repercussions are with forever with us."

"I know. But the fact that we're alive and together outweighs that for me." Eric kissed G's cheek. "Here's another incentive; I know what the G stands for."

"You do?" Eric nodded and whispered it into his ear. G smiled. "Really? That's my real name?" His smile got bigger and bigger. "That's my name?"

"You're gonna have to earn the right to look at it and find out why. But baby it's going to be worth it." G nodded. "Come on; let's go back to bed so we can be refreshed for Dr. Andrews tomorrow." They both crawled back towards the pillows, Eric placing the covers over them. G pulled his husband closer to him.

"I'm so glad I have you in my life. I love you babe."

"I love you too."

* * *

**A/N2:** If you've read "The Tea Lesson" located in NCIS: Los Angeles and on my profile, then you know at the end of Chapter 1 I left the idea of Eric and G open. The story has been developing. Well, this is a preview. The story is coming. I don't know when just yet, but if you Author Alert me you'll be the first to know when it starts.


	4. Vision: Sheldon

**Warning:** This is implied slash relationship m/m. In my world, SSA Derek Morgan and CSI Dr. Sheldon Hawkes are in a relationship. A glimpse of the future for Sheldon and Derek.

**Disclaimer: **See intro

**Rating**: T for kissing and sexual connotations

Chapter 3: Vision- Sheldon

CSI Dr. Sheldon Hawkes walked into the bedroom he shared with his husband BAU Unit Chief Derek Morgan. Derek had just come back from spending almost 15 days out of town on cases. They were in Texas three days, Florida four days, East Tennessee two days. He got a chance to come home for a day before they were sent back out to Kentucky for three days and Missouri for other two and a half. Needless to say, Derek really missed his family and his husband. Sheldon was glad to have some more help. When Pen wasn't on the travel rotation things were fine. But this time she was on the same rotation as Derek; although she tried to get off after the case in East Tennessee.

Sheldon asked as he took out his contact lenses in the bathroom, "Everybody in bed?"

"Yep, checked on them myself. Everything ok for in the morning?"

"Yeah, lunches are made, permission slips signed." Derek rubbed his eyes. Sheldon batted his hands away.

"You could mess up your eyes by doing that."

"Can't help it; read too many e-mails." He blinked. "But my eyes aren't too tired to look at you." He said pulling his husband closer to him to kiss him.

"Mmm…does daddy need a play date?" He teased.

"Oh, yes with papa as his playmate." Derek smiled and kissed Sheldon as he tried to quickly unbutton his shirt. Sheldon quickly broke the kiss. "What is it?" Derek asked.

"Did you hear that?"

"Hear what?"Derek listened for a few seconds. "I didn't hear anything. I think you're being paranoid." He went back to kissing Sheldon, making it to his neck before Sheldon stopped him again.

"There. I just heard it again."

"What exactly did you hear?"

"A knock or something…"They listened. They each heard it that time. It was a knock at the door followed by…

"Daddy? Papa?" Both men dropped their heads, sighed and said together,

"Ben."

"I thought you said everyone was asleep?"

"They were, when I checked."

"Well, you're gonna have to turn around before we let him in." Sheldon said as he indicated to Derek's aroused state. Derek turned towards the open doors of his armoire. "Come in." Sheldon called.

Five-year-old Benjamin MarKes came into his parent's bedroom. His very sandy-blond curly hair was sticking to his forehead and he carried his favorite teddy bear with him.

"What's going on bud?" Sheldon asked, kneeling in front of his son.

"Papa, I don't feel so good." The little boy replied.

"What's wrong?"

"I feel hot and itchy."Sheldon immediately felt his forehead and the little boy was burning up. "And my tummy is in cycles."

"Cycles?" Derek turned to see Sheldon usher their son to the bathroom. "That's a new one."

"That's their twin speak for nausea." And they got to the toilet just in time for Ben to throw up. Derek winced at the sound and walked to the bathroom door to make sure they were all right. He heard footsteps behind him.

"Daddy, Binky's throwing up all over her bed." He turned to see their daughter Fiona standing there. Derek threw his head up as if to say _What now?_

"Ok, sweetie. Let's go and check on your sister." She took his hand they walked down the hall to the girls' bedroom.

Little Bianca was sitting on the side of her bed, her nightgown and sheets covered in vomit. None of the food she had eaten for dinner seemed to digest. He could see just about every pea, carrot, and spoonful of mashed potatoes she had eaten. And her chocolate milk.

"I couldn't make it to the bathroom."

"It's ok baby. I'll get you cleaned up." He went to her dresser and took out clean nightclothes for her. "Fi, can you go into the bathroom and help your sister change her nightgown while I change her sheets?"

"Yes sir." Bianca's comforter and blanket were actually ok, but the sheets and pillowcases were a different story. By the time he had stripped the bed, Sheldon had made his way to the boys' room with Ben.

"Doug are you feeling ok?" Doug was sitting on the side of his bed, looking like he wanted to throw up. He shook his head no. "My tummy feels funny." Sheldon nodded and nudged him into the large jack-n-jill bathroom shared by the bedrooms. As soon as he did, Doug threw up. Derek stuck his head in to see who had thrown up.

"Shel, can you check their temperatures? I think Fi has a fever too." Sheldon reached into the medicine cabinet and found the ear thermometer. He had each of the kids stand in front of the tub and he checked their temps by ear. Before he could get to Fiona, she had thrown up.

"Wow. Everybody's throwing up. Ya'll make me think dinner wasn't too good."

"Dinner was ok Papa," Bianca said. "we just don't feel good." As Sheldon helped her put on her clean nightgown, he noticed a few bumps on her back and stomach. He was trying to remember if he has seen them a few nights before when he gave them their baths. And he was wondering why Tara, their part-time helper didn't say anything before leaving last night.

"Bianca, how long have you had these bumps?"

"I saw the ones on my tummy this morning."

"And what did you do when you saw them?"

"I scratched them and water came out of them."

"Mine too Papa." Ben said.

"All of you have bumps like this?" Sheldon asked. The kids nodded. "Let me see." They all lifted a shirt and pulled up a pants leg to show Sheldon the bumps. "And you scratched them? All of them?" They nodded again.

"What are they Papa?"

"Looks like you all have chicken pox."

"Chicken pops?" Doug said. "Are we gonna turn into chickens?" His face turned into a worried frown.

"The word is pox; p-o-x not pops p-o-p-s. And no you won't turn into chickens." Derek came into the bathroom to check on everyone.

"We dealing with a 24-hour bug or something?"

"I wish. We're in chicken pox land. You want to go to the store or shall I?"

"Chicken pox? All of them?" Sheldon nodded. "I guess you go. I don't even know what to get."

"Well, they no longer have the old green, black and yellow box we had, I know that." Sheldon sighed. "Ok, first everybody should brush their teeth to get the yucky taste out. Give them the chewable aspirins for the fever. Try some crackers to settle their stomachs. And some sweet tea."

"Sweet tea? What will that do?"

"I don't know the scientific reasoning, but it helps bring the hives out faster. It helps with dehydration too."

"Ok, kids you heard Dr. Papa." The children stepped up on the counter length stepstool they installed to help them reach the sink.

"I'll be back as soon as I can." Sheldon kissed Derek's cheek. "Rain check on the play date?" Derek nodded.

Sheldon walked into their neighborhood Walgreens and headed down the beauty products aisle looking for the Aveeno products. He grabbed a few bottles of the oatmeal bath and lotion. He walked towards the dollar aisle to look for socks or mittens they could wear so they wouldn't scratch so much. He then remembered to call Eric Delko, his lab's assistant director.

"Delko?"

"Hey Eric. It's Sheldon. I'm sorry I'm calling so late. Hope I'm not interrupting."

"I'm still up and no you're not interrupting. Donnie's in the kitchen putting his lasagna together for dinner tomorrow. What's up?"

"Chicken pox crisis at my house."

"How many?"

"All four."

"Ouch. Glad it's not us over here."

"Believe me, I know. I'm at Walgreens now getting some stuff. I'm gonna come in about seven in the morning and leave around noon. I have to be on the FBI conference call at nine in the new lab so I can demo the new machine. I'm gonna see if Derek won't mind going in around one or so. Can you cover after I leave?"

"Yeah, it's no problem. Tomorrow is Donnie's half day so he can pick up Marisol and Jess. Ryan's scheduled to supervise overnight. Do I need to call in Hodges for Wednesday morning?"

"I don't know yet. I'll let you know after we put the kids to bed tomorrow."

"Cool. Let me know of you need anything else."

"Thanks, I will." He hung the phone. He had found some gloves. Next, he went down the food aisle and racked up on Jell-O, crackers and apple juice. He grabbed another bottle of children's aspirins and headed to the pharmacy to make sure he had what he needed.

Derek had managed to get everyone to brush their teeth and take an aspirin. All four of his babies were sitting at the kitchen table with crackers in front of them and sweet teas in their cups.

"You don't want to gulp the tea; sip it. Eat a cracker and sip a little more."

"What is that supposed to do daddy?" Ben asked.

"It's supposed to help settle your stomach."

"Settle?"

"Yeah, stop the cycles."

"Oh ok."

"Daddy's gonna make a phone call ok? You guys just keep sipping your tea." Derek phoned Helen Anderson, his most senior SSA and the assistant for their team.

"Anderson?"

"Hey Helen, it's Derek. I'm not calling too late am I?"

"Perfect timing. Boyd and I just finished a Skype call to Michaela."

"How is the college freshman?"

"She's good. Just finishing her shift at the library. What's going on with you?"

"Chicken pox has invaded our family."

"All four?"

"Yep."

"Sweet tea, Aveeno and Jell-O were our best friends."

"Sheldon's gone to Walgreens now. Anything else that you can think you that will help?"

"Soup and crackers, but I bet you've got that covered."

"Yeah. I'm gonna stay here in the morning and try to get some sleep. I'll Skype the conference call from my home office and try to come in after one or so. I'll double check with Sheldon and see what his schedule is. There's no way either of us can take care of four sick kids at once. Four well kids is tiring enough."

"Been there, done that. I doubt that we'll have anything but consults tomorrow anyway."

"If we get called out, I may not go with you at all or I may join a day or so later, depending on the case. Make sure Garcia is off rotation this week. I'm sure she'll want to spend of time with the kids."

"Absolutely. Anything else?"

"Nothing I can think of. See you on the call."

"Good night Derek."

When Sheldon arrived, the kids were getting sleepy; a combination of the fever and being up so late. They managed to get them upstairs, applied the anti-itch lotion and explained the reason for the gloves. They discussed the plans for the next day and Derek went downstairs to make Jell-O and call Garcia. She was always up.

The husbands managed to sleep a little with the aid of the baby monitors one in each room and garbage pails by each bed. Derek's eyes seemed to open every time he heard a cough or bed sheet rustle. Sheldon left at 6:30 so he could drop off the permission slips for their field trip the next week. He also let them know why the MarKes were out of school. He arranged for Garcia to pick up their homework and he headed in to the lab.

It was a little after 10 a.m. and Derek had almost made it through his entire conference call before Fiona came into his office and climbed into his lap. Not something that he wanted Director Strauss to see but it was unavoidable. Everyone on the office waved to her and she meekly waved back.

"Anybody else up beside you?"

"I think Doug."

"Ok. You hungry?"

"A little." She said, trying not to scratch her face. The sweet tea had done the trick. The hives were up and out.

"Well, everybody, I will see you after one. Let's me see what will stay down this morning."And he signed off the call.

The kids all managed a half a piece of toast, a few spoonfuls of Jell-O and a half a cup of juice. He gave them another round of children's aspirin and let them watch some TV. About 15 minutes later, Ben was throwing up and Fiona about 10 minutes after that. Bianca and Doug seemed to be ok for the moment. Soon they all were asleep. Sheldon walked in the door about 12:30. The kids were just waking up. They thought they would try them with some soup broth and more toast. They weren't ready for soup yet but they all managed to eat a full piece of toast and a little more Jell-O.

After lunch, Sheldon decided to try the Aveeno bath and see that would make them feel better.

"This is definitely not the stuff we had." Derek commented.

"No it's not. It's much better looking and smelling."

"I just hope it works." They bathed their children, applied the lotion, put them in fresh pajamas and down for a nap. Sheldon went downstairs to eat clean up from the kids' lunch. Derek changed his clothes and grabbed the two monitors for his husband to keep with him. He wasn't in a suit today. Jeans and a nice shirt would have to do. Strauss could complain all she wanted but she didn't live in his house. Besides, she was just visiting; she'd be leaving in a few days. Derek kissed Sheldon and was off to the office. Not having much sleep, Sheldon soon fell asleep in his favorite chair with the monitors sitting on his chest. Pen seemed to be calling his name three times in a row in order to wake him up "Sheldon, Sheldon, Sheldon."

* * *

"Sheldon, Sheldon, Sheldon" became the "buzz, buzz, buzz" of a call coming through his cell phone. The doctor blinked his eyes, trying to figure out where he was. The bedroom of his apartment? Wasn't he just in a house, napping in a recliner? "buzz, buzz, buzz" He finally picked up the phone.

"Hawkes?"

"Aha, I figured you were asleep. You never take this long to answer my call." The voice of his boyfriend Derek came through very clear.

"I'm sorry. I fell asleep waiting for your call."

"Interesting dream?" Sheldon thought.

"Yeah, pretty interesting."

"Was I in it?"

"Yeah, but it wasn't romantic in any way. Well, I take that back. If you like the idea of being a family man then it could be a little romantic."

"What happened?"

"We had four five-year-olds with chicken pox."

"Four huh?"

"Yeah. Why? Does that mean something to you?"

"Maybe. Something in a dream I had. I wonder if they are related."

"Care to tell me about it?"

"Yeah. You ready to be shocked?"

"Try me."


	5. Visitation: Jethro

**Disclaimer:** See intro

**A/N**: This is an insight to a story I'm sketching out. You can kind of get the point by reading this what it will be about. Hopefully I'll have something to post by the end of September.

Chapter 4: Visitation- Leroy Jethro Gibbs

When Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs laid his head down for the night, he never thought he would meet his dead wife in his dreams.

"Shannon?" He found himself standing in a garden surrounded by every kind of flower a person could ever think of. The sky was bluer than he had ever seen. The breeze was fresh and sweet. There was a figure dressed in white with bright red hair moving towards him. "Shannon is that you?"

"Hi Jethro." Shock and love covered his face and filled his heart. He reached out to touch her but she shied away. "I was told you couldn't touch me. Not supposed to."

"By whom?" She made an indication looking up with her eyes. "It's been so long. I just-"

"I know. But it's not a part of the deal."

"Deal? What deal?"

"The deal I made with God to talk to you in your dream."

"About what?"

"About your life. It hurts me to see you stuck like you are."

"Stuck? I'm not stuck. What makes you think I'm stuck?"

"You are. Look at how you live your life and I'm not talking about the job. You hardly go out; you hardly do anything outside of your basement. You haven't ventured to find love, you just settle and when I finally find someone I think you-"

"Find someone?" He interrupted. "What are you talking about Shannon?" She deeply sighed.

"Some of us have become guardian angels with the abilities to help shape the lives of our loved ones we left behind. I've been trying to find a companion for you. Some for you to love and every time I think I've found someone, you go off and end up in a bad relationship." Jethro sat down on the bench is disbelief.

"I'm not sure I understand." He said.

"I'm talking about the wives that came after me." She sat next to him. "Do you remember anything strange or weird happening before you got engaged to those women?" Jethro thought and thought.

"Nothing stands out. Did you do something? Because all the marriages ended in divorce. One even married Fornell."

"Not me, you. And actually, it was something you didn't do. I wish you had paid attention to the signs. I'm glad another guardian angel suggested this because you would have missed it again."

"What sign? Shannon you aren't making any sense."

"You never noticed that you ended up sick right before you proposed?"

"Yeah, so?"

"That was me. I tried to get you to see that each one was a bad idea. And now I found someone for you and you actually have feelings for her but you won't let yourself fall in love."

"You know about Amirah?"

"Know about her? I hand picked her and set things in motion."

"But Ziva and Abby-"

"Were all apart of the plan." Jethro sat back against the bench in further disbelief.

"I can't be with her. I miss you. I want what we had."

"You can't be with me; you know that. But you can have something better than what we had. There are so many things in life that we can't control. We planned to be together forever, but that wasn't our fate. You married those other women to try and rekindle what we had. That's why they never worked. You tried to make them me."

"I was trying to make them you?" He shook his head not wanting to believe the truth. "Maybe it makes sense."

"Of course it does. Think about it. We were all strong willed women. We were all same height and weight, able to shoot a gun."

"You didn't like guns."

"True, but I learned how to shoot it. We were all great cooks and red heads." Jethro's mouth dropped at the realization of the main thing that attracted him to all of his wives. Red hair.

"But Amirah has black hair, not red."

"Ah, but she has red-head qualities. You should look up the meaning of her name." She looked intently at him. "I chose her because I knew she would love you the way I love you. Flaws, crazy work hours and all. I also chose her because you won't be able to make her me. Your exes weren't really prepared to be the wife of Leroy Jethro Gibbs. They weren't strong enough. But she is. She's ready. You need to let me go and let her love you."

"But how can I? You were my heart, my princess, my everything."

"That's the beauty of true love Jethro." Shannon broke a part of the deal and touched Jethro's cheek. "It lives forever. And true love knows what's best for the heart. True loves knows that some of us will have more than one soul mate. Amirah cares for you. I mean really cares for you." Jethro had never thought about another soul mate. He'd always heard that everyone always had one, only one.

"Is she my other soul mate?"

"I think you know the answer to that and I think you've know that for a while but you refuse to believe it. You have two soul mates. Amirah and me. Jethro, let her love you. I've done my job. Now once you two are together then Kelly will be able to do hers."

"And what's Kelly's job?"

"To be guardian angel to your children."

"What children? We're going to have children?"His heart raced at the idea.

"Yes." She smiled. "They wouldn't tell us how many. You didn't get to be Kelly's dad for very long, but you are getting a second soul mate and more chances to be a father."

Tears welled up in the agent's eyes. The chance to be a dad again was almost too much to hope for. He closed his eyes to imagine what the perfect combination he and Amirah would look like. When he opened them to ask Shannon another question, he discovered that he was no longer in the garden. He was in his bedroom and comfortable in his bed. He sighed and laid his head back down on the pillow as tears travelled down his cheeks.

"I have another soul mate and it's Amirah. I've wasted so much time. So much time being afraid and not wanting to really move on. Shannon was right, I do love her. And if she loves me as much as Shannon, then my life won't be lacking anything."

He reached over and picked up his phone. He started to call Amirah with his new revelation but decided against it when he saw that the time was well after 1 a.m. Instead, he decided to Google her name. Amirah, he found out is Arabic for princess. Exactly what Shannon was to him. Her middle name, Muhjah meant heart's blood, soul.

Jethro loved her curves. His arms just seemed to fit when he held her. He loved her voice, her gentle manner, and her softness. He loved kissing her, when he allowed himself to melt into it. Amirah was beautiful, inside and out. She looked nothing like Shannon or his ex-wives. She was of Arabic and Indian heritage with long black hair and gorgeous glowing olive skin. Her eyes reminded him of dark pools of chocolate and her kiss was just as sweet. But she fought for their relationship with all she had. Energy, determination and spunk. That's what made her his redheaded princess ready to love him- flaws, weird work hours and all.


	6. Conversation about a Vision: Eric

**Disclaimer**: See intro

**A/N**: The part in _**bold italics**_ is Eric's dream.

Chapter 5: Conversation about a Vision- Eric Delko

When CSI Eric Delko woke, he felt like his heart had stopped and someone had just shocked him back to life. As he stilled his breathing, he looked over at his girlfriend CSI Calleigh Duquesne to see if he had disturbed her with his tossing and turning. He hadn't. He sighed, looked at the ceiling and decided to go into another room to think this dream out.

The wooden floor felt near freezing under his bare feet as he walked to the living room. He sat in the chair and rested his confused head on the headrest. Eric played the dream repeatedly, trying to capture the meaning of it. None came. He did not want to believe was had seen. He was happy with Calleigh. They loved each other and nothing was going to keep them apart this time. No job, no family, nothing. He didn't even know or had ever seen this person he was supposed to be with.

Eric was so lost in his own thoughts that he didn't hear Calleigh enter the room.

"You ok?" He jumped and looked at the doorway behind him. The light from the hall was shining like the sun behind her. "Bad dream?"

"Not sure yet. Did I wake you?"

"Not really. Just got a little chilly." She walked closer to him and sat on the couch. "You feel like talking about it?" Eric looked at her and sighed.

"I don't even know where to begin. I honestly can't make heads or tails of this."

"Just start from the beginning." She pulled the throw blanket around her shoulders.

"Well," Eric said. "I see me sitting in a nursery, in a rocking chair. I'm holding this beautiful baby girl. She has dark hair and she's wrapped in this cute pink blanket. She's looking at me and smiling."

"What's bad about that?"

"Nothing, I guess. I'm talking to her, like she understands every word I say. I guess her name is Jessica; I keep calling her Jess. Anyway I'm telling her about all the people who love her and I list their names."

"Ok. I'm still not seeing a bad part."

"I don't hear me call your name. I assumed this was our daughter, our little girl. But some of the names I mentioned don't match anyone in your family or mine and I don't know them."

"Like who? What names?"

"I mentioned to her my mom, my sisters and her Aunt Marisol and Uncle Speed watching her from heaven. I tell her about H, Alexx, everyone at the lab. Then I mention some other people named Sheldon, Sid, a guy named Mac, Stella, Danny and Lindsay who apparently have a daughter named Lucy. Then I mention an Aunt Samantha, Uncle Pete, Grandpa Don and Grandma Irene."

"Wow. Maybe these people are friends like family?" Calleigh was trying not to show too much concern that Eric indeed had not mentioned her name.

"Here's a kicker. I tell her I love her and that her daddy loves her. I get the feeling that me and the person I'm calling her daddy are two different people. How can this little girl have two dads if I'm one of them? That make no sense Cal. Two dads?" She shrugged, now she was just as confused as he was.

_**Don walked in the nursery and watched silently at the door for a few seconds. The little girl was tugging on Eric's shiny wedding band. He chuckled.**_

"_**I forgot babies like shiny things."**_

"_**He's right. Your daddy does love you, sweet heart."Eric looked at him and smiled. He held the baby girl upright in his arms so she could see Don's face.**_

"_**Look, Jess. It's daddy. Say 'hi daddy'. She just lights up when you're near." The little girl cooed and smiled. "I'm sorry did we wake you?"**_

"_**Just a little. But the conversation going on between the two of you was too cute for me to pass up. Couldn't help but come in here and see the two loves of my life." Don leaned down to kiss Eric and then their daughter which made her giggle some more. "Come here little cutie." Don pulled the baby into his arms, hugging her. "I haven't seen you all day. Daddy missed you. Yes he did, I missed you big time." Eric got up from the rocking chair.**_

"_**Here, you sit here and rock her a bit. I'll bet she'll go back to sleep in no time in your arms."Eric said.**_

"_**You were doing a good job, babe."**_

"_**Ah, she'll play with me and let me sing to her. But she sleeps better when you rock her. Besides, you guys haven't had any time today."**_

"_**You sure?" Don asked.**_

"_**Yeah, go ahead. I can bring a warm bottle if you need one."**_

"_**Would you please?"**_

"_**Sure, be right back." Eric left to get a bottle of formula from the kitchen. Don sat in the chair with his daughter.**_

"_**Did you make all that noise just so you could spend more time with us, huh? Mission accomplished cutie. We're here for you. We love you so much. You are so special to us." Eric returned with the bottle and little Jess began drinking it like she hadn't eaten all day.**_

"_**Maybe she'll sleep better with this."**_

"_**Yeah, I think she will. We're getting hang of this, you know. There's so much we're learning that the parenting classes could have never taught us." Don said.**_

"_**I know. Thank God for our moms. Seems like I'm calling every few hours with a new question."**_

"_**I feel the same. I think my parents will enjoy meeting her when they come next week."**_

"_**I think so too." Soon little Jess was sound asleep and Don placed her back into her crib, rearranging her blanket so could move comfortably. "I'll get up for the diaper change so you can get some sleep." Eric said.**_

"_**I don't mind. It's our reality now." He pulled Eric into his arms and kissed him. "And I wouldn't have it any other way."**_

Calleigh looked at Eric as he finished telling her the rest of his dream. She didn't know how to respond. Neither did he.

"I'm kind of speechless, Eric. You having a baby with a man is a little far fetched."

"I know."

"And being married to a man?"

"I know. I don't understand it. I don't even know him. I've never seen him. This is the strongest relationship I've ever been in. How could a man make me love _him_ more than I love _you_? This dream makes no sense Cal. None whatsoever."

"Honey, I really don't know what to tell you. Maybe Alexx has an answer for you. You know she reads into dreams and things. Maybe it's all nonsense and you just ate something you shouldn't have before going to bed. Try an antacid or something and see if that helps. We need some rest before our busy day tomorrow."

"Maybe you're right." Eric said as they got up to head back to bed. "I hope Alexx has an answer, 'cause I don't know what to do with this one."


	7. Conversation about a Memory:Ray

**Disclaimer**: See intro

**Rating**: T

Chapter 6: Conversation about a Haunting Memory- Dr. Ray Langston

Dr. Ray Langston woke suddenly from his deep sleep, as if someone was calling his name and shaking him awake. He looked to his right to see if his boyfriend Raja was attempting to wake him up. But no, Raja was in his own deep sleep. Ray sighed and sat up in the bed, listening for anything out of the ordinary. After not hearing anything, he quietly got out of bed and walked across the hall to the kitchen. He decided to survey his backyard to make sure nothing odd was going on.

After looking, he sat down on the swing bench and thought about what had really woken him up. He and Raja had spent a wonderful afternoon and evening together. Both men had been really busy on their jobs the past week and a half and barely had time to talk to each other, much less spend any time together. Cooking dinner together was always fun for them. Raja would share some of his family's traditional Indian recipes. Ray would share some of his favorites, even those he remembered while living in South Korea as a child. Sometimes they would try recommended dishes from others or something they heard that sounded interesting. Every once in a while it would end in disaster and the ordering of pizza. Sometimes when they were too tired, pizza was always appropriate.

Tonight's dinner was followed by a bit of dancing to some jazz, a favorite of both men. Raja didn't like the blues as much as Ray, but jazz was always in order between the two. The soothing sounds of Grover Washington, Jr. followed them to a relaxing bath in Ray's Jacuzzi tub, which he rarely used for himself. The sounds of Dave Koz and Boney James provided a lovely background for lovemaking.

As he sat in the night air, he looked down at his hands and the golden wedding band on his left. He had been "widowed" for almost seven years now. Ray still had problems removing the ring. Sometimes he felt the only way he could take it off, was for someone else to put a new one on. Maybe.

The sound of the back door opening brought him out of his trance. It was Raja. He had been concerned about Ray for a few months now. Some days it seemed like he was being haunted by something, but Raja couldn't figure it out. It would wake Ray in the middle of the night and not just at Ray's house. Sometimes when he would spend the night at Raja's, it would happen. And it happened when they took a mini-vacation at Lake Tahoe. So it wasn't Ray's house or Raja's condo. It wasn't even the city of Las Vegas. Raja was beginning to think it was Ray's wedding band.

"Did I wake you?"

"No, the void on the other side of the bed did when I rolled over and expected to find a warm body. I missed you." Raja sat next to him, sharing the blanket he brought outside with him from the foot of the bed by covering both of them.

"I'm sorry."

"I thought you may have been called in or something. Why are you out here in the cold anyway?"

"Couldn't sleep."

"Any case in particular?"

"No, that's just it. If it were a case, it would make more sense."

"When Nick had a particularly bad case and the next day off he would call me to come pick him up. When I'd ask him why, he would say he had a bad day and he was going to need a designated driver."They laughed.

"No, nothing like that tonight."

"Then what is it? I've been noticing that something has been bothering you for a few months now. It feels like something is haunting you. I can't explain it." Ray looked at his boyfriend, not realizing that his problem was so visible.

"I didn't know you noticed it. Why didn't you say something?"

"I'm just an accountant, not the CSI. I thought you'd figure it out sooner or later. Hoping for sooner." Ray fingered his wedding band. "You think it has something to do with your ring?"

"Not the ring, the man who put it there."

"Alejandro? You've been thinking about him?" Ray nodded and sighed.

"When I wake up from the dream, it feels like he's calling me and shaking me awake. Shaking me like something is wrong, like the house is on fire or something. I know it can't be him because…"

"Do you think his ghost is trying to warn you about something and you're not seeing it?"Raja gently touched Ray's cheek.

"I can't think of what it could be. Once I'm awake I can't help but think of our last few days together and how after all this time, it stills feel… unfinished."

"You never really told me what happened. Just that his body was found after a week of being missing." Ray reached for Raja's hand and held it.

"We had been working tirelessly, hardly seeing each other and playing phone tag for around three weeks I guess it was."

"Like we are now."Raja laid his head on Ray's shoulder.

"Yeah, and we lived in the same house. Can you imagine that? We were leaving notes- you pay this bill, I'll pay this one. You pick this up at the grocery, I'll get this. And when we finally had a few days to ourselves, Alex wanted to have a little get together with friends. I didn't want that; I just wanted to spend that time with him. I know we hadn't seen many of our friends, but I needed to spend some quality time with my husband. To make things worse he had planned for everyone to come to _our_ house. I refused to be there. I told him I would be in the bedroom or go to a hotel or just be out for the night. And we had an argument, a huge one."

"Much like ours?"

"Very much like ours. Think about it, we barely said 'hi' and 'bye', no time to talk, no lovemaking, just stress. We didn't speak for two days. I think I slept in the guest room for both nights. We were both stubborn in our plans. I didn't want that fight to go on forever 'cause we only had a few free days before our hectic schedules started again for a few more weeks, so I called him while he was still at work and I apologized."

"For what?"

"Mainly for not compromising and arguing in general; we had never argued like that before. We were both so adamant about our plans and we hurt each other, deeply. He apologized for the same thing and for making the plans without asking and including me. I didn't have the chance to tell him what I was thinking until he told me his plans. I was going to discuss it with him 'cause we could have gone to the movies or a play, rented movies, gone out for dinner, etc. I wanted to include him."

"So what ended up happening?"

"We ended up compromising anyway. He called all our friends and we made plans to meet at our favorite eatery. That way when we were ready to go, we could. And we would have a set time to spend with them and the rest would be for us. It worked out well. We spent the rest of the night and weekend making up."

"Just like us?"They laughed.

"Yeah, like us. I'm sorry we fought." Ray kissed Raja's hand.

"You've more than apologized and made up for it, we both have."

"I guess our argument brought all that back up tonight."

"But that doesn't explain the other times." Ray shook his head, but was in agreement.

"No, it doesn't. I know on a few of those nights, my dad crossed my mind. And some of that may have been case related."

"What do you feel was unfinished between you and Alex?"

"That was our last weekend together before he went missing. I made sure I told him how much I loved him before we left for work that Monday morning; I felt I needed to. I learned that afternoon when his supervisor called that he hadn't shown up for work. I panicked; I didn't know what to do. I immediately when home, but his car wasn't there. I thought about places we liked to go, he wasn't at any of them. We didn't know where else to look. My brain started shutting down and my heart was just… aching; I just wanted him safe."Raja could see how this was affecting his lover. "I knew the statistics of people missing in the first 24-48 hours and it wasn't looking good you know?"

"Ray honey, you don't have to tell me anything else. I can see this is upsetting you and that's the last thing I wanted. I don't have to know anymore."

"It's ok. I don't mind sharing. Maybe that's what some of this is about; I haven't told you everything yet and we promised to be honest with each other."

"Only if you're sure baby."

"I am." Ray took a deep breath. "That Wednesday they found his car, but he wasn't in it. And that Friday afternoon… they found his body. He had been burned beyond recognition. We had to get dental records and he was…um… almost too damaged for that. I was beside myself with confusion and grief. Who would want to kill him? I began to wonder if someone was trying to get back at me. Alejandro didn't have any enemies; everyone loved him. His mother and I were complete wrecks. We just couldn't believe that someone would want that gentle soul… dead." Raja could hear the tone change in Ray's voice. His words were now thick with emotion and he was close to tears as he stared into the night. "I could barely get out of bed, you know. He was my everything, my life, my love, my husband- my world. We had been married, or what we considered married, for 10 years. That's more than some straight couples we knew. It was difficult. So difficult accepting that he was gone and in such a tragic way. I just couldn't wrap my mind around not waking up next to him. I needed to feel his arms around me after working with patients all day. I needed his comfort after a heated discussion with my parents. I just couldn't function, you know?

And then, there was very little support from my family. My mother came because she understood love, but not me being gay. My father wouldn't set foot near us; he was convinced that Alejandro came on to someone and they torched his car or that he was killed by homophobes. However, if my dad had taken the time to get to know him, he would have known that Alex would never do anything like that. He would never disrespect our union."

Raja had tears trickling down his face. He didn't know everything that had happened. He felt a new compassion for his boyfriend and lover. He had known some friends who had to bury significant others, but nothing as tragic as this. It hurt Raja's heart to know that Ray had ever hurt that bad, had experienced such pain and heartache.

"Did they ever find out what happened?" Raja asked as he wiped his and Ray's tears. Ray shook his head no.

"There was plenty of burned evidence; not much was useable. Leads turned cold. As far as they got was homicide by arson."

"So his killer could still be out there?"

"Could be. And looking for me for all I know." That made Raja shiver and not from the chilly Las Vegas night. "Don't worry; I don't think they were actually after me. I think it was business related and that they were going after someone else in the company, but got him by mistake."

"Some mistake."

"I know. I couldn't prove any of it and his company was no help. It was all above his supervisor's head; not much that he could have done."

"Do you think the case could be reopened? With all the new technology now, I'm sure they could find the killer. Maybe _that_ is what's keeping you awake. Maybe you know how to find the killer now."

"I thought about it, a while ago but decided against it. I didn't want to bring up all the horrible memories and pain again. I don't know…maybe I'll consider it again." They sat in silence for a few minutes.

"We should go back inside before we both catch colds." Raja suggested.

The men got up and headed back through the kitchen to the doctor's bedroom. Ray stopped at his armoire and placed his wedding ring back inside the original box it came in. Alex's ring, melted from the heat of the fire, was no longer the item of beauty it once was. The luster was gone and it was no longer round. It was a horrible shape that hadn't been invented yet. A cross that Alex used to wear was also in the box. The chain had melted into Alex's neck. The cross was barely salvageable. Neither of his parents wanted it so Ray placed it with the ruined ring. He probably could have melted them both down into something else to remember Alex by, but he didn't have the heart to completely destroy what was left.

When he turned towards the bed, Raja was there waiting for him. He crawled back into bed and straight into his lover's waiting arms. Raja held him close in comfort and love. He knew it was difficult for Ray to place his wedding band back in the box, but it was necessary to move on. Maybe what had been bothering him was related to the ring. Raja whispered something to his lover.

"Ray, I know our relationship can't replace what you and Alejandro had. I could never take his place in your heart and I'd never try to. But I do love you. I'd like to think I love you as much as he did. I don't want you to feel like you're missing anything." Ray looked at Raja lovingly.

"I don't feel like I'm missing anything darling. I do feel your love for me and I love you for it Raja. Thank you for being patient with me as I finally figure this out." Ray kissed the man and nestled closer to him and soon sleep covered them.


	8. Fantasy: Cyrus

**Disclaimer:** See intro

**A/N**: I don't own any name brand products mentioned.

**Rating**: T for minor sex scene

Chapter 7: Fantasy- Cyrus Garza

It was a cold and very rainy night, Cyrus was sitting in his favorite chair, with his favorite beer, and snacks watching his favorite team kick serious butt on the hardwood. The game had just gone to commercial when his doorbell rang. He looked at the clock. _I'm not expecting anyone. Maybe somebody_ _on the team left something_. He rose to answer it, finding a soaking wet Corinne Ferrante standing on his front porch.

"Corinne, to what do I owe _this_ pleasure?" She was shaking and freezing.

"I was bringing by the files I had on the Millers since I hear you're taking up their case and my car stopped before I could turn the curve."

"The curve on Thomas?"

"No, the one on Elderidge."

"Elderidge? That's three streets over. You walked that far in the rain?"

"I didn't have a choice. I needed to get these files to you and my roadside rescue said there is a two-hour waiting list. So here are the files; hope they're not too wet. I tried to keep them dry." She handed them to him. He placed them on the table and saw that she was starting to walk away.

"You're not going to walk back are you?"

"Yes, my laptop and other files are in my car and I can't let anything happen to them."

"But you're going to walk? Seriously? You're already soaking wet. And probably freezing."

"Yes, I am. Do you have a better idea?" Cyrus thought about his game and his favorite team. And the money riding on the game. He made a decision.

"Actually I do. Come in and warm up a minute. I'll be right back." As she stepped, in he disappeared into the house and came back about 10 minutes later dressed in warm clothes and rain gear. "Ready?"

"What are we doing?"

"Going to get your car." He led her to his four car garage (with workspace), which only had two cars in it. He opened the passenger door to his Ford F-150 for her. She got in and immediately felt warmer. Cyrus turned on the heat for her and she just held her hands over the vents. He backed his truck out of the garage and drove in the direction of her car. The rain and wind were absolutely relentless.

"Ok, I need you to put your car in neutral. I'm going to hitch it to the back of my truck and pull it back to my house. Are your flashers working?"She looked at her car.

"They were when I left it here."

"That's means you probably have a dead battery now. It's ok." Corinne reluctantly left the warm truck and went to her car. She placed it in neutral as Cyrus hitched it up, the rain absolutely pelting both of them. She hurried back to the truck as he finished. He turned on his flashers and slowly drove back to his house. He pulled her car all the way to the back of the workspace area and closed the garage door. Corinne was confused.

"Why are you closing the door? Aren't you going to take me home?"

"I can see just from that little trip that the roads are really bad. Even with my truck, it would probably take me two hours to get you home. It's ok, you can stay here tonight. I have plenty of guest rooms and some pjs I got for Christmas that I haven't opened that you can sleep in. I'll leave a message for my mechanic and he'll probably be here first thing in the morning."

"Your mechanic makes house calls?"

"Yep." Cyrus opened the door, which led to a mudroom. "You might want to get your notebook out so it won't freeze." She went to the trunk and retrieved it and the files. She followed him into the house. "You can hang your coat up here. I can put your clothes in the dryer, but I'm afraid your shoes may be a lost cause." They both looked at her feet as she took off her shoes.

"They were my favorite Jimmy Choos. There'll never have another sale again like they had when I bought them." She pouted. Cyrus handed her a towel that he kept handy in the mudroom just in case he or someone needed to dry off quickly. She wiped her feet so she could have some traction in walking across his kitchen floor in her wet pantyhose.

"What would you like to eat? Name it and I can make it."

"A sandwich will be fine for me."

"You sure?" She nodded. "Tea or coffee?"

"Which ever will warm me up the quickest." He nodded and turned on a coffee pot.

"You can use my ensuite bathroom; it's the only one with the relaxing tub." She followed him as he walked up the stairs to his bedroom. She guessed she should have considered herself lucky; she was where so many women wanted to be. And maybe a few men. She watched as Cyrus found the unopened pajamas and a pair of socks for her feet.

"So this is the 'Garza Sanctuary' huh? Nicely decorated."

"Thanks." He replied as he started to fill the tub. "I don't have any women's underwear. Well, not any that you would want to wear."

"Why am I not surprised?" Corinne asked and laughed.

"What can I say, sometimes they leave them behind. I have some boxers that aren't open that you can wear."

"I'd appreciate that, thank you." He left the bathroom to find the boxers.

"Here you go." He placed the clothes on the vanity stool. "There's a hair dryer there, towels here. I don't really have any girly bubble bath or anything."

"That's fine." The tub had filled and Cyrus cut it off. They stood there looking at each other for a minute. "What are you waiting for?" She asked.

"Your wet clothes."

"Oh, I'm not undressing in front of _you_." She said pushing him out of the bathroom and closing the door behind him. "Just give me a minute." She took off her wet clothes and handed them to him through a very small crack in the door. "Don't lose my underwear Cyrus."

"I won't, I promise."

Corinne turned to the warm inviting tub. She took one of the towels and wrapped it around her head to start drying her hair. Then she slipped into the tub. She could feel her troubles melt away as she warmed up. The feeling was coming back to her toes and fingers. She was no longer shaking from the weather.

* * *

Cyrus was going to put Corinne's clothes in the dryer when he noticed mud on them. He saw that they could be washed in cold water, so he washed them. He just hung her pantyhose up in the laundry room to dry. Then he looked at her shoes. He felt sorry for her; she looked like she really loved them. He placed a call to his shoe guy to see if there was any chance of restoring them. He promised to look at them. Cyrus was pleased.

He headed to the kitchen to see what he could prepare for her to eat. She had just spent about three hours walking in D.C.'s cold wind and rain and all she wanted was a sandwich? No, Cyrus couldn't let that happen. Well, he could make her a sandwich, and some soup to go with it. While the soup was cooking, he watched the second half of the game and was please with the fact that his team won. He had placed a small bet, well, small for him anyway. _What shall I do with the money? My debts are all_ _squared away at the moment._ He thought about Corinne's shoes and depending on what his shoe guy said, he could be buying her a new pair of Jimmy Choos.

Upstairs in Cyrus's bathroom, Corinne had put on the oversized pjs and the socks. She was glad that she felt completely warm. Cyrus had left her an undershirt and she put that on underneath the pajama top. She didn't like headlights. As she dried her hair, she hoped that it wouldn't frizz out on her. It didn't. She had a few curls left, but that wasn't her biggest concern. She found her way back downstairs and to the kitchen where she found a funny surprise- Cyrus Garza in an apron. She couldn't hold in her laugh. He turned around.

"What?" He asked. "I told you I could cook anything. And I happen to like my apron." She shrugged and sat on one of the stools at the kitchen counter. He placed a mug in front of her with filled with coffee. Corinne smiled as she felt the warmth of it in her hands and relished the smell as it hit her nose. Next, she found a bowl of potato soup in front of her accompanied by a perfect grilled cheese sandwich.

"Cyrus, I-"

"I know, I know. You said a sandwich was just fine. You used lot of energy to get here and you need to replace it. So potato soup it is." He prepared a bowl for himself and sat next to her.

"Thank you." She replied. She tried a spoonful of the soup and to her surprise, it was restaurant quality. She wondered if it was a canned or ready-made. At any rate, it was good to her. She felt as if she hadn't eaten all day. "This is pretty good."

"You sound surprised."

"Yeah, I am. Never know what to expect around you."

"Unpredictable. Not a word used to describe me often, in a good light anyway. You're welcome. It's an old family recipe but I use some modern techniques."

"Like what?"

"Microwaving the potatoes while I prepare the rest. If I have a lot of time to prepare, I bake the potatoes first."

"It's very delicious. You cook often?"

"A lot when the team is over. And I do cook for myself. I like a good cooking show every now and then."

"So when are you going to settle down and share this awesome recipe and kitchen with someone?"

"That depends."

"On what?"

"What are you doing the rest of your life?" She laughed.

* * *

After eating, Cyrus showed her to one of the guest bedrooms. Corinne insisted she wash the dishes first; Cyrus introduced her to the dishwasher. The bedroom was nicely decorated like his room and cozy. But it was chilly.

"It's colder in here than it should be." He walked over to the thermostat and checked it. "Did you hear anything come on?"

"No. What should I have heard?"

"The heater should have turned on. You know when you hear it." He tried again. "I guess I have to call Roderick about that. Let's try another room." They went across the hall to another room.

"It feels warmer in here. What about the fireplace?"

"They're not completely installed yet, except the one in my room. As I was buying them, where was a recall on a part and the only one with the correct part was installed in my room first. We're waiting on the other parts to install the rest. I wasn't expecting any visitors."

"It's ok, I wasn't expecting to be one." She walked over to the bed and got in.

"If you need anything, I'm down the hall."

"Goodnight."

"Night." He replied as he closed the door behind and walked to his bedroom. He turned on some music, and got into bed.

As he leaned against his pillows, he thought about his houseguest. Corinne, unknowingly, had helped him fulfill a lifelong fantasy. Ever since he was a child, he had heard and read the stories about the knights in shining armor, riding on white horses, rescuing the princess from the castle of the evil king or whoever. Rescuing the damsel in distress was his lifelong fantasy.

He rescued self-proclaimed damsels before, but the distress was their own. Corinne's distress was not her doing and she was a real damsel. There was no way in _hell_ she would have walked _that_ far in the freezing cold rain in her favorite shoes for nothing. Cyrus was glad that they had come far enough along in their relationship -or whatever this was between them- that she could trust him. He wondered how much longer it would take her to trust him even further.

Corinne was trying to get comfortable in the bed. The bed was comfortable, but the room seemed to be getting colder. She thought if she lay in one spot and didn't move, she would stay warm. But it wasn't helping. Her nose was cold, her ears were cold and she was beginning to shiver. She turned on the lamp and walked over to the thermostat. She looked at it and the temperature read 40 degrees. Then it made a hissing sound and popped off the wall. Corinne let of a small scream and stepped back. Cyrus soon came running.

"You ok?"

"I was cold and I was looking at the thermostat and it just popped off the wall." Cyrus looked at it and shook his head.

"Never seen that happen before. Well," he paused. "I know you don't want to hear this but unless you want to sleep in the den or the living room, my room is the only room with heat and a bed." She groaned and rolled her eyes. "I'll be a gentleman, I promise." He said, putting his hands up in surrender.

"I guess I don't have much of a choice, do I?" She asked. He shook his head no. She sighed and followed him back to his bedroom.

As they entered she heard the music; it was salsa but soft and gentle, not the fast paced, sweaty kind. Cyrus had been reading the files she brought on the Miller case; they were all over the bed. He moved everything into a pile and placed it on his nightstand.

"A little light reading?"

"Just a little." He pulled the covers back for her. She sat on the bed, swung her legs over and he pulled them back over her. She instantly felt warmer. The bed was warm, the room was warm and the sentiment between the two of them was warm. She didn't expect that. She watched as he walked around to his side of the bed and got in. He provided extra warmth. She smiled and shook her head in disbelief.

"Ok…what'd I do now?"

"Nothing. It's just that you have me exactly where you want me."

"Which is?"

"In your bed."

"And I didn't force you; you came on your own."

"Not really. I wouldn't be surprised if you did something to the thermostat just so I didn't have a choice."

"Which reminds me..." He said as he picked up his phone and dialed a number. He put it on speakerphone just so she could hear it.

"Hello?"

"Roderick, my man what's going on?"

"I wasn't going to call you until the morning, but the parts have come in and we can install the fireplaces when you have time this week."

"Good deal. You're going to have to check all the thermostats upstairs. I don't think they're working and one had popped off the wall right in front of my houseguest." Corinne could hear Roderick laugh.

"Not that I'm not trying to be a gentleman, but have you ever had a guest who _wasn't_ sleeping in your room?" Cyrus looked at Corinne.

"Well, she wasn't, but she is now. It's a long story, trust me."

"Ok. Uh…depending on the weather, I can be there around 10."

"That's a good time. Mike is coming around eight to look at her car. Thanks Rod."

"No problem, Cyrus." They hung up.

"You didn't have to let me in on the conversation."

"Yeah, I did. I earned a little of your trust, but I'm learning that full honesty with you gets me a little more."

"Ok, so I believe you."

"Thank you, my lady." He put his phone back on the nightstand and snuggled under the covers. "Lights out?"

"Not yet."Corinne replied. She looked at him, kind of funny he thought. She placed her hand gently on his cheek and said "thank you." Before he could answer, she leaned over and kissed his lips. He was shocked and stunned. Not that he didn't want that, he just wasn't expecting it.

"For what?"

"For coming to my rescue. You didn't have to get out in the rain to help me."

"Of course I did. I wasn't going to let a real damsel stay in real distress. You're welcome." Cyrus saw something in Corinne's eyes. She leaned over and kissed him again. This time he responded. It was tender and loving. Her lips were soft; exactly what he expected her kiss to feel like. He placed his hand on her waist. As he did so, she came closer to him. So close, that she straddled him. Cyrus was confused, but he decided to go with it.

They continued to kiss until the need to for air forced them apart. Panting and confused, Cyrus searched her eyes and her face for an answer. He didn't find one. He placed his hands on her hips and watched her smile. She placed her hand on his chest, leaned forward and kissed him again. Their tongues met and danced erotically. He moaned softly into the kiss.

"Corinne, what's going on hun? What are you doing?"

"I'm kissing you."She replied.

"I know that. What I _don't_ know is why?" Corinne held his face in his hands and looked him straight in his eyes.

"I know now I can completely trust you. You could have saved my life tonight. I have no idea what could have happened to me while I was walking here or if I had stayed in my car."

"But we don't have to do anything. The deal was if and when you were ready."

"I think I'm falling in love with you. And I think you are falling in love with me." She whispered and ran her fingers through his hair.

"Yes, I am. Are you sure this is what you want? I don't mind waiting. I've waited this long, what's a little while longer?" Corinne placed her hands on her hips and looked at him.

"Cyrus Garza, are you turning me down?"

"Oh, no! Never that. Never…that…" His voice trailed off as she began to unbutton his pajama shirt and let it slide from her shoulders. He tried to keep his hands to himself but she wouldn't let him. Corinne took his hands, and slid them under the t-shirt. Her skin was soft and finally warm beneath his fingers. With one thumb, he drew circles around her belly button; the other drew circles around her nipple. He could hear her breath catch as he did so.

"It's all yours, if you want it." She encouraged. Cyrus lifted the t-shirt to see Corinne's "headlights" as she called them. She took the shirt off, throwing it towards the foot of the bed. He gently brushed his thumbs across them and she arched her back, thrusting her breasts towards his face.

"I do, I do." He whispered, kissing the valley between her breasts. He could feel her hands cradle his head as he kissed her. Corinne softly moaned as she felt Cyrus's warm tongue and lips on her nipple. She could feel her body slowly melting in his hands as he continued to tease her nipples.

"Mmm…Cyrus…"Her beautiful brown skin seemed to glow and blush under his touch. He sat back against the pillows for a minute, just to take in the beauty of the moment. The woman he desired most was now in his bedroom, straddling his lap, half-naked. Corinne reached for the hem of his t-shirt and tugged up indicating that she wanted it off. He obliged and then felt her tongue tasting his nipples. When he leaned his head back, he was pretty sure his eyes were rolling in the back of his head. Her kisses trailed up his chest to his lips again, going in for the full sensuality of the kiss.

Corinne sat back, looked at Cyrus and smiled a sly smile while tugging on his pajama pants. He responded by raising his hips and letting her pull the pants off. She had a super smile knowing that he was commando under them. She continued her trail of kisses downward. Once Cyrus realized what she was going to do, he slid down on the bed and opened his legs. The moment he felt her lips touch his manhood he was speechless. When she took his whole length into her mouth, he moaned and fisted the sheets. The pleasure was almost too much to handle. He tried not to but could not help as his hips bucked towards her face. And Cyrus thought he would lose his mind when she began humming along with the music, sending ripples of joy through his body. Soon his body was set to climax and he called out her name repeatedly as his essence left his body and the orgasm ripped through.

* * *

"Corinne….Corinne…oh my god…mmm…" was all Al heard before he began knocking on Cyrus's bedroom door. Mereta had just come up the stairs and heard what Al heard.

"Do you think Corinne is really in there?" Mereta asked.

"Hell no. If she's as smart as I think she is, she's not. I'm going in there, we have work to do." He turned to the bedroom door and knocked. "Cyrus, I'm coming in you guys better be decent." Then he opened the door. To their surprise, Cyrus was alone. "Cyrus…wait, you're alone?" Cyrus looked at Al and Mereta through half-lidded eyes.

"Hmm? Of course I'm alone. I made an agreement with Corinne. No sex 'til after Easter." He yawned and turned to face them. "What are you doing here anyway?"

"Could have fooled me the way you were moaning and groaning in here. Come on man, we got work to do."

"Who's cooking breakfast?"

"Uh, you are." Al replied.

"Start the coffee pot." Cyrus said as he turned over in the opposite direction. Al shook his head and followed Mereta downstairs. Cyrus sat up wondering why Al thought Corinne was in bed with him. Then he felt the wetness in his pajama pants and remembered his fantasy of the damsel in distress. He smiled knowing that after Easter, that fantasy had a real chance of becoming reality.

* * *

**A/N2**: Check out my actual Outlaw fic called "Cyrus Garza, Outlaw". It's located in the Misc. TV or through my profile.


	9. Deja Vu: Natalia

**Disclaimer:** See intro

**A/N**: I don't own any name brand products mentioned.

**Rating**: T

Chapter 8: CSI Natalia Boa Vista

The past few days had been bananas for Horatio Caine and his CSI Miami team. Every piece of evidence they found led them to more evidence, more suspects and more motives but not the criminal mastermind. Whoever was behind it all stayed more than two steps ahead of the team. It had been over seventy-two hours since Natalia seen her apartment. She was so full of coffee and sodas that if she had cut herself she might have bled caffeine instead of blood. She had eaten more fast food in the last four days then she'd probably had last month. Her body ached in places she didn't realize she had. What she wouldn't give to go home and crash for about at least twenty-four hours. No telephone, no TV, no computer. Nothing but her eyelids closed to the world.

She was waiting for yet another test to produce results. Since she would have about an hour, she laid her head inside her arms on an empty desk in the lab. If she could just close her eyes for an hour maybe, she could see something she didn't see before. The bombs, the murders, the assaults and the press were enough to drive anyone crazy. They were all trying to hold on to their sanity. She'd had to make an emergency run for batteries for her hearing aids. She never had to go longer than twenty-four hours before being able to charge them. Not so lucky this time.

The beeping sounds of the machine and the printing of test results brought her out of her slumber. She stretched and grabbed the results from the printer. She took one glance at the results and took off to find Horatio. She had possibly found the killer's identity. As she ran down the hall, she bumped into Calleigh who was coming up from ballistics. She had proof of a second suspect. When they reached Horatio's office Walter was there with evidence of the third suspect and an address. Everyone went into action.

Natalia was cataloging the last of the evidence when Horatio came in the lab to send her home.

"But these still need testing."

"Don't worry about it. The swing will take care of it. I'm sending you all home. You've done more than excellent."

"And you're going home too, yes?"

"Yes; we all have strict orders to not show up here for three days."

"I don't know if three days will cover how tired I am."

"I know. That's why we have the weekend off too." She smiled.

"Thanks H." He smiled, put his hands in his pockets, and walked out of the room. Natalia grabbed one last cup of coffee, just so she could drive home. She was swearing off the stuff for the next three days. She drove home with the music blaring to keep awake. Once home she parked her car and was barely able to walk. She'd had her heels on for much longer than she expected. She unlocked her door and stepped in. After closing and locking her door behind her, Natalia finally let out a sigh of relief. The familiar scent of roses filled her nostrils. It had been over three days since she had been home, but she didn't remember using rose-scented room fresheners or buying fresh flowers. Which would have been dead by now from neglect. She glanced around and then something on the floor caught her eyes. Rose petals. They were making a trail that led from the front door to the hallway and she assumed without looking that they reached her bedroom.

"Who would leave a trail of rose petals?" she said to herself. Airing on the side of caution, she pulled her gun from her holster and slowly and quietly followed the trail. As she walked she could hear a man…singing in her bedroom. Natalia slowly walked down the hall, adrenaline kicking in where fatigue had set in. Gun drawn, she pushed the door open to see a tall, bald-headed, muscular brown-skinned African-American man dancing around with his iPod in his ears.

"Freeze!" She yelled. The man turned around, hands raised in surrender. Then she saw his dimples. "Sam?"

"Hey baby you're finally home." He said as he pulled his ear buds from his ears.

"Sam, I almost shot you! What the hell are you doing here?" She said as she lowered her gun.

"Nice to see you too beautiful." He said. Stepping closer he greeted her with a kiss. She moaned a little as the familiar taste, feeling and fatigue. "Hetty gave us some unexpected vacation time so I'd thought I'd come and surprise you."

"You flew across the country to _just_ surprise me?"

"Yea, that's what good, loving boyfriends do. Then I saw the news and knew it was going to be a long case for you." She sighed as NCIS: LA Team member Sam Hanna pulled her into his arms. She had forgotten that she had given him a key for emergencies. She was glad that he never needed to use it. Like traveling from Miami to LA was an easy emergency.

"Well, I haven't slept much in nearly four days."

"I figured as much when I looked in the fridge. So I did a little shopping for you."

"I'm afraid that I won't be much company tonight either."

"I'm here for a few days; we don't have to catch up tonight. So what do you want to do first; eat or sleep?"

"Actually bathe. Yeah, I need a bath."

"Shower or tub?" He asked.

"Shower. I need to wash my hair."

"Allow me." Sam stepped into her bathroom and started the shower. As the water was heating up, he helped her undress her aching body. He undressed as well.

"You're showering with me?"

"Well, can't have you falling asleep in the shower can I?"

"I'm not that tired yet."

"Tali, you don't see what I see." They stepped into the shower and Natalia nearly melted with the water as it covered her body. Sam took her body puff, lathered it with her favorite shower gel and slowly washed her body. Between his gentle repetitions and the warm water, she was getting more relaxed by the second. By the end of the shower, she was glad that he was there. She leaned on him as he washed her legs and back. She sat on the side of the tub as he washed her hair. Natalia felt so blessed to be spoiled at this moment by him.

As Sam dried her off, she nearly fell asleep in his arms.

"Tali…Tali?"He loved using that shorten version of her name. Sam thought it sounded more exotic.

"Hmmm?" She responded, her voice thick with sleep.

"Stay with me a little longer. Let me get some pjs on you, and then you can sleep as long as you want."

He managed to get her into some pajamas, change her hearing aid batteries and get some pain medication in her system for her aching muscles. He tucked her into bed. She murmured something but Sam couldn't make sense of it. She was asleep before he pulled the covers over her. She was going to be asleep for a while. Sam pulled on his pajamas and got in next to her. He had cooked earlier so food would be available, whenever she woke up.

It was nearly ten hours later when Natalia finally stirred in bed. It was dark outside and she could feel the affects of the past few days. Her body felt worse then it did when she lay down. Sam wasn't next to her so she called out for him. He walked in when he heard her voice.

"Hey sleeping beauty."

"What time is it?" she asked as she yawned.

"Nearly midnight."

"I'm still so tired."

"I know but since you're awake you should try to eat something. It'll take just a minute to warm up."

"Ok." She sat up and stretched. A few minutes later, she stumbled into her small dining room area and sat down.

"What do you want to drink?"

"I'm swearing off coffee and sodas for three days. If you cut me open I'd probably fizz or bleed black coffee."

"Apple juice good?"

"Sounds great." Natalia replied. He poured two glasses and set them on the table. Then he brought two steaming hot bowls of Sam's Famous California Chicken Soup. "This looks good."

"Oh it more than looks good, it is good. This, my darling, is my famous California Chicken Soup."

"Famous to who?" She asked looking at him from the corner of her eye.

"Everyone in our department. I made this for a Christmas potluck one year in a very large batch. It was the first thing to go."

"That good huh?"

"You can call Hetty and ask her yourself." He looked at his watch. "She's still up. It's a little after 9 p.m. out there."

"I won't disturb her. I'll take your word for it."

"I make this in big batches and freeze it. It's the perfect thing for cold rainy California days."

"Cold, rainy and California; there's three words that don't belong together."

"True, but it happens. Keeps me from getting a cold. It will help you rebuild your strength." She tasted a spoonful of it. Then another.

"It's actually pretty good." She said. Sam smiled at her.

"Told ya."

"So what makes it Californian?"

"Ah, it's a secret."

"Secret probably meaning there is no secret."

"Oh no, there's a secret. I'm just not willing to tell you."

"When will you tell me?"

"We'll see." Sam teased. They continued to eat and talk. Sleep was soon setting in for Natalia again. It was after 1 a.m. Sam put the dishes in the dishwasher and joined Natalia in her bedroom. As he got in, he could feel her snuggle close to him. He pulled her closer, she rested her head on his chest and both were soon asleep.

Once the sun rose, Natalia was feeling much better. Her muscles didn't ache as much, but she still felt like she needed sleep. After breakfast, Sam helped her with the laundry. Since it was a nice day, they went out for lunch. She showed Sam more of the city. He had been able to sightsee before, but not like this. Horatio called his team to an impromptu dinner at his home and he told her that Sam was more than welcome to come. It would be nice for the team to finally meet him.

One would think after trying to rest and getting her body back to normal that Natalia would want to rest. That wasn't the case. As she and Sam were changing clothes, she walked up behind him and began kissing his back. She ran her fingers up and down his chest as she did so. He stopped her hands and kissed them.

"Not that I'm complaining, but what's that for?"

"For surprising me and taking care of me. You didn't have to do that."

"Yes, I did. It's in the secret boyfriend code. We're supposed to take care of our women."

"So do G and Eric take care of each other like that?"

"Like you wouldn't believe. But why are we talking about them? I thought it was just us in here."

"It is." she said as she turned him around to kiss his lips. It was technically the "hello" kiss they would have shared if she had picked him up from the airport.

"That's what I'm talking about." He said smiling. "You feel up for a massage?"

"Who would turn one down?"

He pulled her over to the bed and laid her on her stomach. He straddled behind her and began to massage the aches out of her muscles. After a while, those massaging maneuvers became loving caresses. Those caresses were combined with full body kisses, sexy licks and beautiful words of love. Before long, they were making love like that hadn't missed each other but shared that type of love every day.

Natalia felt really relaxed now. Sam gave her that last kind of sleep she needed. She was tired but it was a good tired. Sam wrapped his arms around her and they both slept radiating love. Her alarm clock going off disturbed their sleep. _Why is this thing going off on my day off?_ She reached over to turn it off but it wouldn't. She rubbed her eyes to see what time it was and thought it strange that her clock wasn't in front of her. It was a machine from the lab. _Why is this thing in my bedroom?_ She looked a little closer and realized that the machine wasn't out of place; she was. The beeping of the test completion woke her up from her nap. _How long have I been asleep?_ She glanced at her watch. Just an hour. Wow what an hour and what a dream.

As she removed the results from the printer, Horatio came in.

"I've got those test results."

"Very good. I can present them to the suspects when we question them."

"You already have them in custody?"

"Yes we do. Karen Wilson came clean first and told us everything."

"Well, how nice of her. She's been stonewalling all this time. What made her change her mind?"

"Knowing that she might have to spend time away from her children."

"She still might have to." Natalia added as she handed him the results.

"Thank you and you can go home to get some rest."

"Maybe later. I have some other stuff to finish-"

"No. Swing shift is coming in. You have the next three days off, plus the weekend. And as soon as I update swing, I will have three days plus the weekend too."

"Home. Seems like such a foreign concept after these past few days."

"Get some much deserved rest."

"Thanks H."

Natalia walked to her locker, grabbed her things and headed for the parking lot. Once home she parked her car and was barely able to walk. High heels were not made to wear more than a day at a time. She unlocked her door and stepped in. After closing and locking her door behind her, Natalia finally let out a sigh of relief. The familiar scent of roses filled her nostrils. Not sure why her home was smelling that way, she looked around for an answer. As she did, something on the floor caught her eyes. Rose petals. They trailed through the hallway and she assumed to her bedroom.

"Rose petals? What the hell is going on?" she asked herself. Being cautious, she pulled her gun from her holster and followed the trail. As she walked she could hear a man's voice in her bedroom. She was having a weird feeling of déjà vu, but she knew she'd never been in this situation before. Natalia slowly walked down the hall, gun drawn, ready for action. She pushed the door open to see a tall, bald-headed, muscular brown-skinned African-American man unpacking clothes.

She started to yell "freeze" then the man turned around. "Sam?" His dimples were unforgettable.

"Tali; I'm so glad you're finally home." She gave him a dazed look. "What, did I say something wrong?"

"No, I just didn't expect to see you here." She paused. The déjà vu feeling was getting stronger. "And why _are_ you here?"

"A few days of unexpected vacation. Hetty told us to get the hell out of dodge."

"So you decided to come here?"

"It's the first place that came to mind. We've haven't spent any face time together in a while. Your job, my job. So here I am." She replaced her gun and took off her holster. Sam put his arms around her waist, pulled her close and kissed her.

"Sam, it's been a long four days and I just wan-"

"Let me take care of you, ok?" Natalia nodded but had a confused look on her face. "Everything ok Tali?"

"Yeah, just a weird feeling of déjà vu."


	10. Daytime Nightmare: Spencer

**Disclaimer:** See intro

**Rating:** T

**A/N:** In my world, Spencer is married to Simon Allman and they have two children Lilli and Daniel. _**Bold italics**_ are Spencer's thoughts. The dream is in_ regular italics. _ One other thing…I have added my fanfiction username to twitter. You can follow me (at symbol) **sissouthernink**. The numbers made it too long. I promise to follow back.

**Warning:** Drug use

Chapter 9: Daytime Nightmares- Dr. Spencer Reid

_**Oh my God…not again. This can't be happening. Not now God, not now.**_

Dr. Spencer Reid was frantically searching his home office for something. He opened every drawer in his desk, moved stacks of paper and stacks of books on top.

_**Where is it? Where? I hid it but where is it?**_

He began to search through boxes of papers and books from his various degrees and search over the years. Nothing. The thing he was looking for was eluding him. He hid it on purpose. Maybe he hid it too well.

_**I need it. Where is it?**_

Spencer stood in the middle of the room with his hands on his hips, wondering where his emergency vials of Dilaudid were. He wanted to make sure his children didn't get to it. He didn't want his husband to know there was any left. Simon thought Spencer dumped all of it and that he was drug free. Drug free, but not nightmare free.

_**Maybe the fact that **__**I can't**__** find it means I **__**don't**__** need it. One hit of that would ruin everything I've worked for. But I need it. I gotta have it.**_

The BAU team had just come back into town from a most horrible case. The nightmares just wouldn't stay away. Spencer's uneasiness started when JJ began with the case information. Young gay men around his age were being abducted, drugged and tortured. Tortured by a religious sect claiming that they were trying to rid the world of these types of sinners. Some of the young men had escaped and were barely alive to tell their story. They told the team of what happened, what they were told to say when they drugs were administered. This sect was very clever in the fact that they abducted men who they knew had been sexually abused and molested as children.

If was as if the abductors had a file on each on the young men. Every disgusting part of their lives was front and center for the abductors. They suffered mental and sexual abuse from their fellow abductees, who were also under the drug's influence, not knowing what they were doing. These men recalled their dreams and the vividness reminded him of the time Tobias Hankel held him hostage. The reason he was looking for the Dilaudid.

With the drug, he was able to remember his mother. Her dementia was a non-factor; she was young, intelligent and educated. And he was sometimes taking care of her. But the drugs helped him remember the important things they did together- reading, talking, writing. He needed to hide. Right now, he needed an out of body experience. And he couldn't find his stash.

_**If I could just find those two little vials…It's been so long, maybe there isn't any. Did I really hide them? Did Simon and I destroy them all?**_

Spencer looked around at all of his books, trying to remember where the last of the vials were. If there were any. The stories of those tortured young men reminded him of the teasing he received as a child amongst teens in a high school. The shoves and pushes from the football players, the laughs from the pretty girl cliques. How did he ever endure? Reading and learning. College students teasing him until they learned of his skills. Those first few boyfriends betraying him, cheating on him as if he were nothing. His emotions were everywhere. His heart was hurting, his head was hurting and his spirit was hurting. He needed not to hurt.

_**Come on, where are you hiding?**_

Spencer thought about the times he and Derek talked their childhoods or what he was willing to share regarding Carl Buford. He remembered the nights that Derek held him as he had his fits of withdrawal, wanting and nightmares. Until Simon, it was the best relationship he had been in. It was a paradise of sorts. He remembered saying to himself then that he almost lost his paradise with the drugs. Paradise.

_**Why am I thinking about Derek? And paradise? This isn't making any sense. Think Spencer! Think!**_

His mind clicked and he was beginning to remember. What was is about Derek and paradise? Derek was there when he lost his mind.

_**Lost. Paradise. That's it! John Milton's poem Paradise Lost. But which book?**_

Spencer loved to read and loved books. He had so many repeat editions of so many works. He had Paradise Lost in four large collector's editions. It had to be there. That's why he thought of Derek. When they were together, he bought a fake book of Paradise Lost. It was hollow inside and that's where he had hidden the drugs.

_**I've found you!**_

Spencer located the book, climbed the step stool, grabbed the book and ran to the bedroom- stumbling up the stairs. He closed the door behind him but didn't lock it. He slid down the wall next to the bed and carefully opened the hollow book. There were the two vials if Dilaudid, a couple of syringes and a tie for his arm. His hands shook as he picked up a vial. He filled the syringe then rolled up the sleeve on his left arm. He wrapped the tie around his upper arm, pulling it tight with his teeth. Spencer sighed deeply and thumped his arm below his elbow for a vein. Finding it and bracing himself for the quick prick of pain, he inserted he needle and pushed the liquid drug through.

_The agent untied the tie, closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the wall- ready for the rush. It was immediate. Spencer felt comfortable and calm, listening to his mother read to him. Then he heard his own voice asking her questions. He was smiling and she was smiling back. The memories floated through his mind. He could hear pleasant laughter and he felt good. He was motionless as he sat still but felt that he was floating in the most beautiful colors, sounds and scents ever created by God. _

_More and more happy memories filled his head: conversation and fun times with Derek, the team sharing as a family, Simon and the children. He was floating on water that had a gentle and smooth buoyancy. The white fluffy clouds above him were like projector screens and all of the memories showed and floated by one by one, making him laugh and smile. Spencer felt water on his face that he mistook for water splashing around him. He didn't notice that it was his own tears._

_**Why would I be crying? I'm viewing the happiest times of my life. Ah, happy tears.**_

_He could hear more laughter and children's voices: they belonged to his children. The blue sky behind the clouds began to turn dark and the water became choppy. The pretty fluffy clouds were replaced with darker, stormy ones. He could no longer hear the laughter of his children; instead, he heard crying. Something was wrong._

_Spencer's vision went blurry and cloudy as the sky darkened. The choppy waves became even choppier and began to wash over him. He lost control of his buoyancy but quickly gained it back. The very loud scream of his daughter Lilli brought him out of his happiness._

"_Daddy?"_

"_Lilli? Where are you honey? Daddy can't see you." His arms were failing about, trying to regain his balance on the water._

"_Daddy what's wrong with your arm? What's happening to you?" Spencer tried to look at his arm but his stiff neck wouldn't let him._

"_I don't know sweetheart. I can't…see…" His lost his balance and fell into the water._

"_DADDY!" She screamed even louder then he heard the screams of his son Daniel._

"_Daniel, can you help me? I can't get out of the water."_

"_Reach out for me daddy!" Daniel cried. It was no use. Daniel's arms were too short and Spencer was floating away. "No daddy, not that way, this way!"_

"_Daniel! Lilli! Get help! Help me!" The waves were taking him further away from his children and further from his life and all that he loved. He could hear Simon's voice calling him._

"_Spencer! Hold on I'm coming!"_

_**The waves are too much. Too much. They're taking me too far….too far away. Lilli! Daniel! Simon! Help! Somebody Help**_

"Spencer, can you hear me? Spencer?" Simon's voice was fuzzy in Spencer's ears and he could feel a gentle pat on his cheek. "Spencer, honey wake up. It's Simon. Can you hear me baby?"

"Save me…" He murmured. "Daniel, daddy needs you…save me…"

"Spencer!" A now frantic Simon started to shake his husband a little harder each time. **"Spencer. Wake. Up."**

"Simon? Save me…I'm drowning."

"Stay awake. Spencer what did you take? Spencer!" Behind him, Simon could hear a knock on their bedroom door.

"Papa is daddy awake yet? We want to show him our report cards." Daniel asked. Simon looked at Spencer and his eyes were almost rolling towards the back of his head.

"He's not feeling well at the moment. Why don't you guys go down stairs and make a picture to help him feel better, ok?"

"Ok papa." Then he heard little footsteps run back down the stairs.

"Don't go…Lilli, Daniel…daddy needs you…"

"Spencer you've got to wake up! What is going on? What's in this box?" Simon picked Spencer up and laid him on the bed. He grabbed the fake book and read the contents of the vials. "Dilaudid? Spencer I thought we got rid of all this mess. God help me this vial is **empty**. Spencer!"

"The clouds were so pretty…then I started drowning…I'm drowning… Simon…save me…" Simon looked at Spencer's arms and didn't see any track marks or blood but the left sleeve was wet.

"Oh my God Spencer the vial is empty, the syringe is empty. Baby what did you do?" He reached over to grab the phone and call 911 but Spencer grabbed his arm first. "Spencer I gotta get you some help; let me call the EMTs."

"I'll be ok if you just save me."

"Spencer you took vial of Dilaudid! I need help with this please let me call them."

"I didn't take it," he whispered.

"What?"

"I didn't take it. Hands shaking too much, couldn't focus."

"Spencer what are you talking about?" Simon looked around and saw the bottle of Jack Daniel's sitting on the nightstand. It was wedding gift from Simon's cousin, who worked at the plant in Lynchburg, TN. Spencer had gotten better at drinking alcohol but he was still at a three-drink maximum. This bottle was 100% proof and had aged with them eight years. Half of the bottle was gone. Spencer William Reid was drunk. "You drank a half a bottle of this? Oh my God baby, please tell me what's going on?"

"Bad case in Utah."

"What about the drugs? The vial is empty."

"I didn't take it. I promise." Simon took Spencer's left arm and smelled the sleeve. Spencer was too drunk to actually roll up his sleeve, tie his arm and inject himself with the drugs. He must have thought he was injecting himself and the drug wasted on his shirtsleeve. Simon had never been so thankful in his life. Spencer began to cry. "I couldn't handle the case. I tore up my office looking for it but in the end, I couldn't take it. Too much at stake." Simon knelt next to the bed and pulled his husband into his arms.

"Spencer please don't scare me like that ever again! It was by the grace of God that I made it up here first. This was the first place the children were headed. They didn't even want to put their books down they wanted to surprise you so! What if you had taken this mess? What if they had found you passed out, or…or worse." Simon couldn't hold back his tears. "I, **we **could have lost you Spencer."

"I'm sorry." Spencer said sobbing. "I just wanted to feel happy."

"You should have called me the minute you landed. I would have left work to come get you so you wouldn't have to be alone. Remember I made that promise to you baby? I meant it." Spencer held on tighter to Simon. "I don't even _know_ what I would have said to our children if-"

"I didn't even think about them. Oh, God please forgive me! I would never want to hurt them."

"I know baby. Look at me." Simon said as he took Spencer's face in his hands. "Sometimes those cravings make you forget who you are, what you have. You have us baby, depend on us. I promise we'll do everything we can to make you not want those horrible things anymore." Spencer touched his forehead to Simon's, tears streaming down both of their cheeks.

"You saved me. I knew you could."

"Everyday you let me, I will."


End file.
